Tag: People who Inspire

Walking for Darfur: Or Ami Steps Forward to Stop Genocide

Over forty Or Ami members joined together with others from across the San Fernando Valley to walk for Darfur, decrying the genocide that continues to plague that part of the Sudan. Teen Osher Shefer shared these reflections on the Walk for Darfur:

“Come on, Get up!” Waking up early to drive 20 miles east wasn’t my idea of a lazy Sunday morning. As we got into the car, I briefly thought about Darfur. With my iPod on, it wasn’t truly on my mind. Arriving at Jewish World Watch (WWW) rally at the Milken Jewish Community Campus in West Hills, I realized how many people actually got up like me and spent part of their Sunday for this wonderful cause: ending the genocide in Darfur, Sudan. We got our picket signs up and our big banner and we started walking. The walk was fantastic. Every time somebody honked at our work, we all cheered in joy and felt appreciated. The line of walkers continued past the corners of every block. It was good to know you weren’t alone. As we came back to Milken Jewish Community Campus, we felt like we had accomplished something great. At the Jewish Center, there were little tents set up for us inside the pavilion. Within each of them was a little memorial to honor the hundreds of thousands who died in the genocides in Armenia, Cambodia, Rwanda, Bosnia, the Holocaust, and Darfur. Looking through these was heartbreaking. To think that all these hundreds of thousands of people died because of racism. This thought brought me to tears. As I walked into each tent, I realized that this had happened during the Holocaust and it shouldn’t happen again. We are always talking about how history repeats itself and we should learn from it, and here was our chance. When I finally came out of the last tent, I looked down at my neck card. Around each person’s neck was card with one paragraph describing someone’s terrible story of their experience in Darfur. I read mine, and then my mother’s and my father’s. I read my friends’ as well. These cards and this experience made me realize how unfortunate and how terrible their lives are. We need to help them…they need us. We Jews regularly remember the Holocaust and decry the world’s inaction. May this Walk for Darfur raise additional awareness and lead others to work toward the end of modern genocidal regimes.
To learn more about how to help stop the genocide in Darfur, go to Jewish World Watch.

Educator Michal-Rozenberg Yalovsky Receives Ner Ami Innovator Award

Another person who inspires!

Congregation Or Ami bestowed its first Ner Ami Innovator award to Educator Michal Rozenberg-Yalovsky for her transformational work creating the new Kesher Learning program. The Ner Ami Innovator award is presented to synagogue and community leaders who shine new light in the areas of Jewish education, ritual and community. Literally “Lamp of My People,” the Ner Ami Innovator award is symbolized by handmade Shabbat candles, and takes its name from the Friday night ritual in which Jews usher in the Sabbath with a pair of nerot or candles.

In presenting the award to Rozenberg-Yalovsky at the synagogue’s Faculty Appreciation service, Rabbi Paul Kipnes explained, “Under Michal’s guidance, we take another bold step forward in the field of Jewish education, creating Kesher to replace the traditional inflexible religious school. Kesher means connection in Hebrew and we hope that this Kesher will further strengthen the connection of our students to Judaism. Kesher offers individualized Hebrew instruction in groups of four to six students, creative Judaica learning with a newly designed curriculum, and multiple class options so that the learning program can fit into most family schedules. This is only the most recent of Michal Rozenberg-Yalovsky’s gifts to the Jewish community in the four years since she came to Congregation Or Ami. As such, we are thrilled to be able to honor her with our Ner Ami Illuminator award.”

Michal Rozenberg-Yalovsky is Principal/Program Director of Congregation Or Ami. Call the synagogue at (818) 880-4880 to speak with Michal. Read the Acorn Newspaper article.

Prom Prep 101: Helping Foster Kids Experience the Joy of Being a Teen

Or Ami member Michelle Feinstein and her daughter Carly helped raise up a spark of holiness this month at Prom Prep 101. Michelle writes:

“We were like fairy godmothers getting Cinderella ready for the ball,” said Carly Feinstein (age 7 ½) of her experience in participating in the Prom – Prep Mitzvah. About 50 young foster girls ages 15-18 came from the Department of Children and Family Services to take part in making the Prom a beautiful memory. Most of these girls are able to go to their proms because of Prom Prep – 100. It was as magical an experience for them as it was for the over 75 volunteers who gave their time to assist in the process. We arrived at Bethel Lutheran Church in Encino to find that the classrooms had been transformed into Glamour stations for the girls to visit. Each volunteer was assigned a girl to spend the day with, and escort her through the process of selecting a beautiful gown to wear, choosing accessories to complete the ensemble from shoes, handbags and jewelry. We then continued with hair styling and makeovers by professional stylists, including manicures! Photographers were on hand to capture the before and after shots of the girls – they were lovely!!! The afternoon was culminated by a runway presentation, an inspiring speaker and a luncheon. “I was so proud to be a part of making the day so nice for someone who truly needed it. It was a great opportunity for my daughter and I to do this together – we will certainly do it again next year!”

Joanna Gould, who attended the event this year and last year and whose mother Susan Gould helped organize Or Ami’s participation in the event, spoke in her Bat Mitzvah d’var Torah (speech) about the longer lasting relationships that develop from these mitzvah opportunities:

I also volunteered at an event called “Prom Prep 101” where teenage girls in foster care attend a special event to select a dress and accessories to wear to their prom. I met this amazing girl named Kaylee there and we have kept in touch ever since. My family is mentoring her. In addition, I have been sponsoring a little girl named Andrea who was severely burned in an accident. We helped make her life easier by getting an air conditioner for her so that she would not be so miserable in her compression garment. I also was able to take her shopping for items at the Mervyns’ Holiday Child-Spree event last month.

Calabasas Boy Overcomes Serious Disabilities to Become a Bar Mitzvah (Acorn, 5/24/07)

The local weekly, The Acorn, tells us about one of the more emotional events at Or Ami, the upcoming Bar Mitzvah service of Brandon Kaplan. Brandon cannot write or speak, but he understands Judaism and loves Torah. And on Shabbat this Memorial Day Weekend, he becomes a Bar Mitzvah. I suspect there will not be a “dry eye in the house.”

But lest we think otherwise, B’nai Mitzvah for kids with special needs is not out of the ordinary, at least at Congregation Or Ami:

[Rabbi Paul] Kipnes emphasized that no matter what a child’s needs are, it’s never a question of if a child can have a bar or bat mitzvah- it’s when the ceremony will take place.

“There are two values being played out, simultaneously,” Kipnes said. “Brandon is a kid like any other kid created in the image of God, worthy of love.

“But Brandon is also a special kid and there is an honor and joy to the congregation that he participates to the fullness of his abilities. So he’s normal and special, but here’s the secret: so is every other kid.”

Congregation Or Ami has programs geared toward helping families with special needs children. One major program involved a coordinator calling all appropriate families to prepare them for the program or find ways to change it to make it work for them, Kipnes said.
Or Ami also has a support group for parents with special needs.

“There is a sense that children with special needs, physically, emotionally, mentally, don’t have a place in the synagogue, in the Jewish community,” Kipnes said.

“That’s just not true, particularly here. We have celebrated b’nai mitzvah with children with autism, emotional developmental problems, intense dyslexia, Tourette’s syndrome – the Torah and Judaism are available for all of them.”

Special Needs Leads to Especially Meaningful Bar/Bat Mitzvah Services

I love officiating at Bar and Bat Mitzvah services. Watching young one grow up – sometimes during the process of studying Torah, sometimes right before our eyes as they chant Torah on the bimah – is a moment of kedusha (holiness). Kal v’chomer (“how much the moreso”) when the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a child with special learning needs. Over the years, we have celebrated Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremonies with children with autism, ADHD, auditory processing problems, OCD, motor and munipulation issues, dyslexia, and a whole alphabet of other challenges. Each service was unique. Most were tear-jerkers. All were REAL and fully within shalshelet hakabalah, the unbroken chain of transmission of Torah from generation to generation.

Though we kvell (praise) especially joyfully at these services – “look at how much this or that child has been able to do” – I often wonder if it is we who miss the point. Of course the child became a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, because Torah beckons him/her, like every other kid, to take his/her place with in the chain of transmission. It is always an honor to help figure out how to make this happen.

I recently read an article about involving children in the religious experience by Rabbi Joanne Yocheved Heiligman, the parent of a child with autism spectrum disorders. Rabbi Heiligman writes:

With all the energy that it takes to help our children succeed in their everyday school settings, sometimes the thought of enduring a similar struggle for their religious lives can seem so daunting that we postpone their religious education and/or participation long past the time we would provide it to a typical child. I have the dual perspective of being the parent of children with autism spectrum disorders as well as being a rabbi. I’d like to share some of what I have learned, from both sides, about integrating our children into faith communities.

Rabbi Heiligman’s article is an important part of this ongoing conversation. I encourage you to read it! Read more.

Basketball and Boxing: Lessons on Forgiveness

Another sports story which teaches an important Jewish ideal:

Almost thirty years ago, Rudy Tomjanovich was punched ferociously by Kermit Washington in an NBA basketball game, leaking spinal fluid as a result. There in the ICU he wanted to return and smash back in return. The doctor told Tomjanovich, “You have to get on a path to healing, and any negative thoughts are going to hurt you.” The star athlete reflected: “I was like anybody else. I had a lot of negativity in my life. Over the years, I’ve learned to look at life a different way. I had to. When I had to recover (from drinking), I had to have a psychic change. You have to change everything, from the inside out. I had to learn to get rid of resentment, anger, being a martyr, being a victim. I’ve learned to let those things go.”

And so it is with life. Teshuva (repentance) and forgiveness aren’t just about fulfilling some Yom Kippur ritual. They are about transforming ourselves and our approach to the world, so that our future encounters can be unencumbered, wholesome and holy.

Speaking Out for Religious Freedom and Marriage Equality


Religious leaders must speak out on the moral issues of our day. The prophets did it. The sages did it. Rabbis throughout their time did it. Earlier this month I did too.

I lent my voice, and my understanding of the evolving Jewish tradition, to two efforts occurring in the State of California regarding Marriage Equality. In addition to supporting an interfaith amicus brief asking the California Supreme Court to decide that it is a violation of the California Constitution to deny same sex couples access to civil marriage, I wrote a letter to The Honorable Mark Leno (13th Assembly District), which said the following:

Along with other religious and spiritual leaders, I join with California Faith for Equality in writing to you in strong support of the “Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act” (AB43). I commend the protection this legislation provides for religious freedom while ensuring equal treatment under the law for same-sex couples.

I affirm the right to freedom of conscience and recognize that the state may not require religious groups to officiate at, nor bless, same-sex marriages. By the same token, I oppose appeals to sacred texts and religious traditions for the purpose of denying legal and social equality to same-sex couples. The state may not use the religious convictions of one faith for civil law that affects people of all faiths and people without religious affiliation. Furthermore, clergy should not be placed in the position of treating some couples they marry differently than others.

I thank you for setting a standard of leadership and integrity by exercising your legal right and your moral responsibility to pass legislation to end marriage discrimination in California. The right to love and to form a family through marriage is a fundamental human right, and was so recognized by the California Supreme Court in 1948. California public opinion has been moving with remarkable speed to support fair and equal treatment for same-sex couples. History is clearly on the side of full civil rights for all.

I commend your demonstrated respect for our constitution, for the separation of church and state, and for loving, law-abiding families. I join with you in standing on the right side of history, and in standing on the side of love.

History, and a compassionate honest interpretation of Jewish tradition, shows that this is the right path, the moral path, for us to support. I was honored to be able to raise my voice in support.

A Statistically Accurate, Methodologically Sound Top 50 Rabbis List

Last fall, three self-appointed bozos tried to do to the Jewish world what VH1 and others do to the world of entertainment: insert ridiculous standards of measurement create a circus, er, a Top 50 Rabbis list. So Sony Pictures CEO and Chairman Michael Lynton got together with his good friends and fellow power brokers Gary Ginsberg, of Newscorp., and Jay Sanderson, of JTN Productions and started working on a list of the 50 most influential rabbis in America. Their (un)representative work was published in Newsweek magazine. When I speak to my colleagues, I assure them that they must have been Number 51. On our Rabbinical listserve, I posted the following:

I was very excited about the top 50 Rabbis list until I read it and realized that a typographical error left me off the list. That said, top 50 lists tell us more about the people writing them than the people listed on them.

Seriously though, in the aftermath of the list’s publication, I conducted a statistically accurate, methodologically sound survey of thoughtful and totally objective Jews around the country. I asked them one simple question: “Who are the top 5 rabbis in the United States of America today?” After joking that it must be “their childhood rabbi,” each (to the one) listed only one name.

Lest you think I am skewing the results, I give you the raw data: who I asked and what they said.
My Mom: You son.
My Dad: You son.
My Deceased Grandparents: Paul Kipnes
My Sister (who owes me some money still): You Paul
My Son (who wants a new Ipod): You dad.
The Couple Whose Wedding I will officiate at next month: You Rabbi
The Kid whose Bar mitzvah service is this weekend: You Rabbi
My Wife: Your friend Ron Stern (She, of course, is not objective, so I threw out her
response.)

Did the other group give you their raw data? I think not. You decide. Or better yet, conduct your own survey. I’m sure if it is as objective as mine, you will find the results to be equally satisfying…

Darfur: Genocide Again and Again


Abby Leibman of Jewish World Watch, an organization whose motto is “Do not stand idly by,” spoke at Congregation Or Ami last night about the ongoing Genocide in the Darfur region of the Sudan. I am again horrified by the inaction of the world to this ongoing travesty.

We learned that action by the world’s countries can work. After hundreds of thousands were killed in the Rwandan genocide, President Clinton acted in Kosovo, ensuring that only 5,000 lost their lives. While that was 5,000 souls too many, it does show that when we put our minds to it, we can stop the mass killing, rape and ethnic cleansing.

Time to act before the nightmare becomes even more real. Pick an organization and get involved:

“God is a Fraud!” Cries the Woman Caring for her Elderly Mother

Sarah walked into my office, sat in a chair and confessed, “My mother doesn’t know me anymore.” Tears began streaming down her face. I recognized that a while had passed since I saw her around the synagogue. She continued, “My mother Barbara sits in the convalescent home, weeks now after her fall. Her hip is on the mend, but her mind continues to deteriorate. I tell her, ‘Ma, it’s me. Your daughter.’ Sometimes she looks confused. Sometimes she smiles. Then … then it is as if she’s gone. She just doesn’t remember me.”

“Rabbi, I haven’t been to services in months. I really want to come to temple – to be with friends, to hear the Cantor’s calming music. But I can’t. Because every time I hear the Mi Shebeirach prayer, all I can think is, God is a fraud. I wanted to come by to tell you that. So you will know…”

God is a fraud. Those are harsh words, but not the first time I have heard that sentiment. And the concept is not nearly as harsh as the new life stage which this woman and her mother have entered into. Roles had suddenly switched. The nurturing mother and her rebellious daughter have now become the cared-for elder and the care-taking adult. Neither saw it coming; neither was prepared for the emotional, spiritual and physical turmoil this change forced upon them. Neither could understand why the Source of Life could allow their lives to become so painfully messed up.

So I held onto Sarah’s hand as she cried in my office. We spoke about God. I said, “The Holy One can hold onto both your love and your frustration and even anger. Your pain will not, and cannot, overwhelm God like it so often overwhelms your relatives and friends. The Source of Life stands with you throughout all the stages of life, not just the easy or the pleasant ones. Know that when the exhaustion overwhelms you such that you wonder if you can even get out of bed to face a new day, God is there patiently prodding you on. When sadness seeks to smother you, God offers you the strength to still play catch with the kids, or sit down and pay the bills nonetheless.”

“You know, the Mi Shebeirach is about healing, not necessarily curing. In my reading of Jewish tradition, I have not found any guarantee that God offers a cure. To cure is to remove the illness, the depression, or the disease from our bodies and minds. But the One Who Heals always offers us, and our loved ones, the promise of refu’ah, of healing. Healing is about finding a way to face whatever is ahead. It is about shalom, that sense of wholeness, amidst the brokenness of our lives. Healing is about chometz lev, the courage to go on and face the new day.”

“So perhaps next time you hear the Mi Shebeirach, you will think of your mother, and ask for shalom. Maybe you can say it for yourself, asking for the strength to get up each day, the courage to sit through the visit with your mother, to have the willingness to do homework with your two kids even though you really just want to collapse into bed. Yes, the Mi Shebeirach can be a source of comfort for you, when you are ready to receive its blessings. And we at Or Ami are prepared to listen and hold your hand through it all.”

Postscript: It was not long before we began seeing Sarah at services again. More recently, she began to reach out to other adults struggling with the newfound role of being caretakers. Together they are finding a way to offer each other support.

Living as Part of a Family with Addiction: Courage, Hope and Love

Since it warmed up here in Minnesota, I took advantage of the balmy 9 degree weather by taking a walk outside around the lake. Though chilly, it gave me a chance to reflect back on a day that warmed my heart.

This second day spent in the Family program at the Hazelden Addictions Treatment Center in Minnesota provided me with a glimpse of the heartwarming acts of courage displayed each moment by the families of addicts. As a participant in Hazelden’s Spiritual Care Provider training, courtesy of a grant from the Reform Rabbinical organization CCAR, I was honored to witness the gutsy honesty with which spouses, parents and children of addicts processed the past and looked into the future as relatives of people in recovery. [All the names, situations and stories are composites. In order to protect the confidentiality of all involved, I generalize from my experiences and those of my colleagues.]

A Story
A woman seeks to leave a room. There are only two doors – door number one and door number two. She opens door number one, takes a step out where a person holding a stick whacks her in the head. (Pardon the violent image.) She stumbles back into the room. A little while later, she decides to try again. She opens door number one, takes a step out where a person holding a stick whacks her in the head. She stumbles back in the room. Some hours later, the same thing happens. Opening door number one, getting whacked in the head, and stumbling back inside. This goes on and on. At some point, she opens door one, peers outside, and notices that the person with the stick is no longer standing outside. What does she do? So she begins to look around to find the missing man.

This then is the dilemma of an addict’s family. After living the pain-filled life of one who loves an addict (addicted to drugs, booze, cocaine, pills, gambling, sex or…), is there a point that you stop looking after him or her? Is there a point that you just go through a different doorway and get on with your life? And what is going on inside of you that keeps steering you back toward door number one when you know from experience that you will be whacked in the head?

Here at Hazelden, we are learning that after years of focusing on the needs or dysfunction of the addict, each family member begins to transition into focusing back on him/herself. That transition is incredibly difficult.

We learned that when the loved one descends into the dark pit of addiction, the family member might want to begin a process called “detaching with love.” Detaching with love is not about anger or resentment, fear, anxiety, judgment or numbness. Rather, detaching with love is about taking responsibility for oneself and letting go of responsibility for the actions of the addict.

I learned that in homes of addicts, family members often try very hard to keep the addict from using. Hiding bottles or censoring words or watching what you do, all to ensure that you do not set her off on a drinking or drugging binge. Detaching with love helps you transform your own mindset. No longer must you walk on eggshells. Now, when you say something without intention of hurting anyone that makes her angry, that’s no longer your problem. (It is the addict’s problem.) Detaching with love is about setting boundaries of acceptable behavior.

It also requires one face difficult questions:

  • Will our marriage survive?
  • Should it?
  • Can I trust her?
  • Am I responsible for the past, or for the future?
  • If I still love him, how can I not try to save him?
  • But if I cannot save him, what am I to do?

I spent today with tears in my eyes, my heart filling with awe as regular people wrestled with intense issues. No surefire solutions guaranteed; none were really offered. Just a group of normal people, walking a painful path, struggling with their feelings and sharing insights with each other. No mystical heroes here, just regular Joes and Janes trying to figure out today and hoping to make it to tomorrow. No perfection here, just processing life.

They inspired me with their courage. I will keep them all in my prayers.

Venturing Out In the Cold: Exploring Addiction and Recovery in Minnesota

On Sunday, I left Los Angeles with its toasty 78 degree weather. When I awoke the following morning in St. Croix, Wisconsin (just over the Minnesota border), it was minus 19 degrees outside. Walking from the hotel to the waiting van, I thought my tuchis (rear end) would freeze off. Yet, after spending a few days at Hazelden, a residential addiction treatment center in Minnesota, I found myself warmed by the profound healing happening amongst recovering addicts, their families and the incredible Hazelden staff. [All the names, situations and stories are composites. In order to protect the confidentiality of all involved, I generalize from my experiences and those of my colleagues.]
I am one of four rabbis and a rabbinic spouse attending the Hazelden Foundation’s Spiritual Care Providers Professionals in Residence program. Recognizing that even Rabbis and Rabbinic families suffer from the disease of addiction, the Central Conference of American Rabbis (CCAR), my national rabbinical organization, raised funds so that our delegation could acquire the education necessary to help our own. We seek an understanding of chemical dependence and our role in helping persons affected by addiction recover and heal – physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Jews Don’t Drink!?! How many times have you heard that Jews don’t drink? Well we do. And we use chemicals, misuse prescription drugs, snort coke, and engage in a myriad of other addictions too! Like just about every ethnic group, our Jewish brothers and sisters too are seduced by their addictions until their lives are damaged beyond recognition. Slowly, too slowly, our Jewish community is waking up to help. So here I schlepped during the frigid Minnesota winter to deepen my pastoral skills in ways that could benefit both my colleagues and my Or Ami congregants.
In the past fourteen years, I have run recovery retreats, led Jewish 12 Step meetings on Yom Kippur, co-written curricula for developing Jewish 12 Step groups, and mentored rabbinical students to become 12-Step-friendly rabbis. None of this, however, prepared me for the intensity and depth of emotion that permeates this wonderful community.
At Hazelden, we participated in a family program in order to understand how addiction affected relationships. We partnered with addicts to learn first-hand about the challenges they faced. We listened to lectures about alcoholism as a disease and heard inspiring speakers who provide guidance and hope. At one point, I looked out the window at the falling snow hiding the frozen ground beneath. It reminded me that there is so much heartache hidden beneath the faces arrayed before me in Hazelden’s community room. But in the fellowship of recovery, the stories were shared and the pain revealed. Always, I was amazed at the strength of character that it took to face it and fight back.
We learned so much about addiction and recovery.

  • About how addiction is about a “desire to be numb” and the recovery is about “the desire to be alive.”
  • About how many addicts in recovery are grateful for the crisis in their life – their rock bottom – that brought them to recovery.
  • About one study which showed that a person with an alcoholic parent but an otherwise stable family was still FIVE TIMES more likely to develop alcoholism as was a person from a multi-problem family without an alcoholic parent.
  • About the three C’s: Cause, Control, Cure (a family member of an addict DID NOT Cause the disease, CANNOT Control the addiction, and CANNOT Cure it either).
  • About the fifty-pound phone, the notion addicts use to describe how hard it is initially to lift the telephone headset to really reach out for help.
  • About how the craving for the object of your addiction (booze, a joint, some pills) is so insidious and powerful that it is stronger than anything else (love of family, concern for job, caring for spouse).

Beyond making me so grateful for all the wonderful parts of my own life, my stay at Hazelden also taught me how addiction can rob anyone of the fullness of life.
This morning we were playing outside during a break. We had heard that in below zero temperatures, you could throw a full cup of boiling water up into the air, and it would vaporize before it hit the ground. We had to try it, and vaporize it did. I immediately thought of my newfound family group partners. Their lives were once so full. Yet as the chemicals heated up their days, those cherished lives – marriages, careers, economic security, families – were vaporized in less time than it took for that water to vaporize.
I feel so honored and fortunate to be learning this. And to have the opportunity to deepen my pastoral skills so I can reach out and help others. May the Holy One grant me the chance to use this learning to lead others down the path of recovery from addiction.

Stories from the Lebanon 2 War: Poignant and Promising

My wife Michelle and I write:

On Wednesday we visited the Underground Bullet factory at Machon Ayalon, which secretly manufactured bullets right under the noses of the British, in a factory placed underneath a kibbutz bakery and laundry room. On Friday, we visited the underground shelter of the Western Galilee Hospital in Nahariya. This multimillion dollar project was scoffed at by many when first proposed and built as a potential waste of money. Thanks to the foresight of those who insisted it be built, it served six months ago as a refuge for those hospitalized during a time of attack. Like those who foresaw the need for ammunition in Israel’s fight for independence, this underground shelter and hospital ensured that medical care was available in the midst of repetitive and ceaseless katusha missile barrages. Later, the hospital opthamology department was hit by a katusha.

Later Friday, we sat in an underground shelter that served as the community center for Emet VeShalom, a Progressive Jewish synagogue in Nahariya. There we listened to the very personal and poignant stories of seven people who lived through the Lebanon 2 war. One 34 year old man, who left his family to return to military duty, spoke of the constant pressure of shooting artillery into precise coordinates ahead of the infantry. Another man, who was evacuated from the upper levels of the Western Galilee Hospital, spoke of his gratitude for the protection of the underground hospital where his treatment continued seamlessly. His wife was one of the only residents in her neighborhood who chose during the war to remain in her home; just in case the building was hit by missile fire, she would take out the trash daily to signal the trash collectors that there was still someone in the building. A white goateed grandfather, who was born in Algeria and moved to Israel on his own as a 15 year old, spoke eloquently about the routine experience of weekly katusha bombing over the years; though different now that he has grandchildren, he nonetheless remains committed to living up near the border where the life is wonderful.

The head of radiology spoke of his 2 year old granddaughter who, along with her new puppy, routinely ran into her apartment’s safe room at the sound of a rocket, waited for it explode, and then returned to playing joyfully with her new puppy. Finally, we heard from a 14 year old boy, born in Argentina and quickly becoming a shaliach tzibur (prayer leader) in the congregation, who choked back tears as he shared the trauma of losing a beloved aunt, the first person in Nahariya killed by a katusha. Each time he made a statement, he asked the question, “Why?” Over and over, these progressive Jews spoke with pride and warmth about how their congregation provided so much emotional and practical support for members of their community during the war, including regular newsletters and resettling members and non-members in the southern parts of the country. It was like being with Or Ami and our Henaynu Caring Community Committee.

Finally, we spent Shabbat – services and dinner – with the congregation. Though completely in Hebrew (after all, it is their mother tongue) with a bit of English and some Spanish for the Argentine immigrants, the service was wonderfully musical. Clearly the Rabbi/Cantor Israel Horowitz, with his graciousness and musicality, has grown this congregation in tremendous ways. Most poignant were the comments shared by Mickey, mother to Ehud Goldwasser, one of the soldiers captured at the beginning of the war. With strength and composure, she urged the community to join her efforts to lobby on behalf of all the soldiers who remain in enemy hands. Or Ami members were impressed with the warm embrace we received from our Israeli Reform brothers and sisters (and we enjoyed a delicious home cooked Shabbat dinner too!).

We purposely programmed this exploration of the reality and effects of the war until near the end of the trip. We had hoped – as has happened – that the trip participants would first fall in love with Israel, the real country, before dealing with these contemporary issues of life and death. It provided a context of ahavat yisrael, love of Israel. When Michelle asked the panel participants why, in light of the war, they remained in Nahariya and Israel, each answered in a similar way: the beauty of the north was such that they could not imagine living anywhere else.

It was an intense day of illumination and learning. Shabbat Shalom.

Shining the Light of Tikun Olam: Fixing the World from Jerusalem

Our Sunday began walking in the dimly lit passages of the tunnel that runs along the base of the Temple Mount. Our touring Sunday concluded as Rabbi Uri Regev, head of the World Union for Progressive Judaism (WUPJ), challenged us to live up to the ideals of Congregation Or Ami’s name (“Light of My People”) by truly becoming an Or Lagoyim, a shining light of Jewish values to the world. In between, we saw, we volunteered, we remembered and we contemplated what it means to engage in Tikun Olam, fixing this messed up world of ours.

Israeli archeologists have opened a passage (Kotel Tunnel) that runs eastward from the Kotel (Western Wall) along the walls at the base of the Temple Mount. We marveled at the intricate construction: each stone was etched with a perfect rectangular frame, each level set back exactly the same few centimeters from the one below it, and each stone perfectly flush with its neighbors. We contemplated (without conclusion) how the builders could have moved and placed foundation stones the size of school buses. Then, in amazement and wonder, we walked along the same stone street that our ancestors walked along back in Herodian times. In this dimly lit and slightly claustrophobic tunnel, our Jewish souls shined as we walked through history come alive.

Next, we visited Yad LaKashish, Lifeline to the Elderly, a Jerusalem workshop that takes Jerusalem’s elderly off the park benches, teaches them a craft, provides them with meals, transportation and supplemental medical care, and then sells their beautiful crafts to raise money to support this holy enterprise. Once a one room workshop, Yad LaKashish has grown into a multi-room complex dedicated to Tikun Olam, fixing the world by rediscovering the value (both spiritual and economic) of one elderly person at a time. These crafts are beautiful! We agreed that the light of Or Ami would shine brightly by filling our soon-to-be built Gift Shop with these crafts. Before leaving, our little group spent at least $4,000 (American dollars) on gifts – exquisite tallitot, beautiful wall hangings, and intricate jewelry – that will connect our family and friends back home with these sparks of holy social justice work.

Meir Panim and Koach LaTet reminded us of the transformational power of volunteerism. These Meir Panim “Food Houses” (sounds more humane than soup kitchens) offer meals in tasteful restaurant-like settings to thousands of people around the country. Koach LaTet (literally, “the Power to Give”) is like Israel’s Salvation Army, collecting furniture and clothing, refurbishing them, and then delivering it to Israel’s needy families. We volunteered our time. Some of us cut blankets, sewing them into scarves to warm the homeless and disadvantaged as winter approached. Others engaged in manual labor, lifting and arranging boxes of donated medical supplies to be shipped to medical clinics in low income areas or schlepping old palates and crates to the garbage bin. Then we ate the same lunch at the same tables as Meir Panim’s low income guests. Apparently, the monies we would have spent on our lunchtime restaurant meal were donated to Meir Panim so we could experience another form of living. We who dine in top notch restaurants were humbled to taste the watery soup and nibble on the spicy chicken and the quartered potatoes. Still, we were uplifted to learn that all this was made possible because one man wanted to carry on the memory of his son Meir who died from an incurable disease. From the darkness that consumed his son’s life, one father illuminated the world l’taken olam b’malchut Shaddai, to fix the world [as it should appear] in the realm of the Holy One. A few of us committed ourselves to developing a monthly Or Ami Tikun Olam volunteer day at the local Valley Sova Food Pantry so we can help fix (and feed) our little corner of the world.

Israel’s Mt. Herzl memorial and military cemetery connected us with Israel’s recent past and to the heroes who gave their lives to change the world. We visited the memorial to Theodore Herzl, the father of modern Zionism, who in 1897 convened the first Zionist Congress with the purpose of recreating a homeland for the Jews. Im tirzu, ein zo aggadah, he said. If you will it, it is no dream. We placed little stones (the Jewish act that signifies visitation to a grave) at the grave of Israeli Prime Ministers Golda Meir and at the memorial to assassinated Prime Minister and peacemaker Yitzhak Rabin. We witnessed Israel’s egalitarian tradition in the military sections: the grave of military hero Yonatan Netanyahu of the 1976 Entebbe rescue sits humbly next to the graves of less famous but equally venerated Israeli fallen enlisted men and women. Reflecting on the sacrifices these men and women made reminded us that with the rebirth of the State of Israel in modern times, we have changed the world in significant ways. Jews now have a homeland, free from persecution. The world, though they do not always appreciate it, now sees a vibrant example of democracy in the Middle East and unparalleled open access to religious sites throughout holy Jerusalem.

We ended the day at Beit Shmuel/Mercaz Shimshon, home to our Reform movement’s international parent body, the World Union for Progressive Judaism. In forty short minutes at the end of an exhausting day, Rabbi Uri Regev talked about the ongoing struggle to nurture in Israel and around the world a progressive, egalitarian form of Judaism which is committed to vibrant openness and social justice values. He illuminated the challenges: Chabad’s success at raising monies to claim a monopoly on Jewish life in the former Soviet Union with their patriarchal, hierarchical orthodox Judaism, and the ongoing attempts by Israel’s orthodox religious parties to block the development of an Israeli constitution that would guarantee the rights of all Jews in Israel to a civil (or a reform Jewish) wedding or burial and the rights of all Israel’s citizens (women and Israeli minorities included) to a equality under the law. In a riff on our name Or Ami (Light of My People), he challenged us appropriately to become that light to our whole people – not just the Jews who become members of Or Ami – by engaging in the conversation about what Israel’s character should be, by planting a progressive Judaism in the former Soviet Union (home to a quickly growing Jewish population) and by deepening our involvement in Tikun Olam, Jewish social activism.

An exhausting day! Sure, we found babysitters for the kids and enjoyed a dinner out at restaurant 1868 as adults. But the call to transform the world – and the challenges that we face in doing so – enflamed our imaginations as much as the tasty Israeli cuisine filled up our bellies. May we all be up to the task… to live up to our name – to be a light unto our whole Jewish people. Laila Tov – Good Night.

Sowing Seeds of Anger

On Thursday, I sat in the synagogue at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion and heard a preacher captivate the entire community with a beautifully crafted, exquisitely presented sermon on anger. I sat transfixed, thinking she was talking to ME, even as (I learned later) others thought she was talking to THEM. This young darshan (Torah interpreter) Jocee Hudson, a fifth year Rabbinical student, began by saying: A few months ago, I planted seeds of anger within myself. Anger. And I am tending to these seedlings with such care and gentleness. I’m trying hard not to over-water them. I’m trying to keep them in the sunlight. I’m trying to talk to these anger-seeds, softly, to help them grow.
Teaching that the English word “anger” comes from a Norse word, “ang,” which means loss or grief and that anger, then, is the loss or grief we feel when we consider what could be, if it weren’t for injustice, Jocee urged us, quietly and passionately, to embrace anger to transform the world.

Many of us are afraid of anger, because anger in some people leads to acts of violence and destruction. But what if it led to acts of transformation, peaceful transformation, and ethical societal change? Jocee noted that being outraged means knowing what values are central to who we are—and feeling those values deep within us—feeling them in our stomachs. Being outraged means expressing anger when society crosses over that line between morality and immorality. Being a good leader means building communities in which everyone feels outrage if we step over that line.

Frankly, it is scary to speak about outrage to people who often only want us to “be nice” and who do not want to hear about critiques. Yet we teach that the job of the rabbi is

To comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable.

Or as Jocee reminded us that Isaiah said (Isaiah 1:14-17): God is angry—angry at the injustice in our world. Isaiah hurls Divine words at his community; “Your new moons and fixed seasons fill Me with loathing! They have become a burden to Me, I cannot endure them. And when you lift up your hands, I will turn My eyes away from you….Cease to do evil; learn to do good. Devote yourselves to justice; Aid the wronged. Uphold the rights of the orphan; Defend the cause of the widow.”

Just as we speak about God of a Comforter or a Healer or a Peace-maker or …, so too must we remember that in our tradition, surely God gets angry when humans fail to rise to the level of ethical behavior that we might expect. Perhaps the God of Anger does not punish in our world today, but, says Jocee, let us remember that “Anger” is the term that we, in our limited human vocabulary, can use to point toward God’s reaction to us when we allow the vulnerable to remain powerless.

Hmmm, peaceful anger or anger that leads to peaceful change. Interesting, huh?