Tag: People who Inspire

New Rabbis, Educators, Rabbinical Students, and Education Students: The Light of Or Ami Continues to Shine

Gather 5000 Jews together in one place and you are bound to bump into old friends, camp cabinmates, former classmates, and past students. Hanging at the Reform Movement’s Biennial convention in San Diego is an experience of Jewish Facebook come alive.

Perhaps the most fascinating part has been bumping into generations of former Or Ami interns and faculty members. Catching up over lunch with Rabbi Alissa Forrest now of northern California, I came to realize just how poignant the Or Ami internship experience has been. Our small synagogue, 11 years old, has provided deeply meaningful learning laboratories for scores of future Jewish professionals. We afford them much leeway to experiment; we kvell when they find success; and we show patience when ideas do not pan out as they would have hoped. Our interns have helped deepen Mishpacha, create Temple Teen Night, develop the Shabbat morning service, reinvigorate our youth group, write Religious School curriculum, lead services, provide coverage when our rabbi is at convention or vacation, brainstorm new ideas and more. Or Ami has shined brightly because of their contributions. We all are hearing how meaningful our former interns found their experiences.

There was Shaina Wasserman, family educator in a huge synagogue in Palo Alto. Rachel Margolis (formerly Rachel Isaacson, our Mishpacha Coordinator) speaks of the exciting work she is doing as educator at University Synagogue in Brentwood. Here is Josh Barkin, a significant player now in the Jewish educational publishing world at Torah Aura; our current Mishpacha co-chair Sara Mason (incidentally Josh’s future bride) is gathering best practice concepts for use in our Mishpacha program. Rabbi Brett Krichiver is at Stephen S. Wise Temple now; his wife Tami Krichiver leads music as Cantorial Soloist at Or Ami’s Shabbat Morning Service. People are kvelling at the thoughtful, engaging d’var Torah that our current Rabbinic/Education intern Lydia Bloom Medwin gave at a service yesterday; her husband Dan Medwin, our other current Mishpacha co-coordinator, was overheard kvelling about his current experience and gathering ideas to bring back to the synagogue. Here were former faculty members (Kate Spizer and Jake Singer); there are current faculty members (Rachel Ackerman and Jonathan Rothstein-Fisch, who also serves on staff for this Biennial).

Tracing Business Acumen to Dyslexia

As a follow up to a recent post on the America’s Top Model who has Asperger’s Syndrome, I offer this article, also from the New York Times (12/6/07) on Tracing Business Acumen to Dyslexia. The author explains that: A study concluded that dyslexics were more likely than nondyslexics to excel in oral communication and problem solving and to own two or more businesses.

Why does the Jewish community in general, and Or Ami in particular, need to be welcoming to Jews with special needs? Because, as in the case of dyslexics, they have much to offer, and much to gain, from this community.

The journalist notes: “We found that dyslexics who succeed had overcome an awful lot in their lives by developing compensatory skills,” Professor Logan said in an interview. “If you tell your friends and acquaintances that you plan to start a business, you’ll hear over and over, ‘It won’t work. It can’t be done.’ But dyslexics are extraordinarily creative about maneuvering their way around problems.” This kind of creativity can only help our community!

Mervyn’s Child Spree: Spreading the Light to Foster Kids

It is wonderful to feel so proud of our Congregation Or Ami!

Deborah Echt-Moxness, Social Action Co-chair, explains:

When Or Ami’s President Sue Gould found out there was not going to be Mervyn’s-sponsored Holiday Shopping Child Spree this year, she immediately went to our generous and compassionate Rabbi Paul Kipnes, who instantly fronted tzedakah from his Rabbi’s Discretionary Fund for 23 foster children from the Department of Child and Family Services in Chatworth to go shopping at Mervyn’s in Canoga Park. When the foster children arrived at the store, they were greeted by 23 Temple congregants who escorted them individually and helped the children shop for things they needed and wanted. The smiles on everyone’s face speaks louder than words and attests to the fact that when you give, you get much more back in return: the warm, fuzzy feeling of knowing you helped someone and made them feel special! Each foster child had $122.00 to shop for essentials and Christmas gifts.

For all the Temple members, this was a meaningful way to begin the week of Chanukah by spreading the Light into the hearts of foster kids! This event would never have taken place without the devotion and help of Lovette Panthier, who runs the Adopt a Child Abuse Case-worker Program.

View the Child Spree pictures.

Asperger’s Syndrome Gets a Very Public Face

The New York Times (December 4, 2007) wrote eloquently about the challenges and successes of Asperger’s Syndrome (Asperger’s Syndrome Gets a Very Public Face). It warmed my heart as a relative and as a rabbi.

I care deeply about someone with Asperger’s Syndrome, a relative of autism, characterized by unusual social interaction and communication skills and by an inability to read social cues. Years before this syndrome was diagnosed, we shared frustration with many interactions.

Today, we recognize Asperger’s Syndrome for what it is, a mental health issue, a personal challenge. I am pleased to have read about the poignant experience of Heather Kuzmich, who as a contestant on “America’s Next Top Model,” simultaneously served as a model for others with Asperger’s syndrome. She didn’t win (I wouldn’t really know since I don’t watch the show), but she did win the hearts of hundreds of thousands of viewers, not to mention scores of people with Asperger’s and their family members who were cheering her on.

As a rabbi, I retain fond memories about officiating at the B’nai Mitzvah ceremonies of so many children with with autism, Asperger’s and other special needs. Each was meaningful and heartwarming. Each was both special and exceedingly normal.

Perhaps that is the larger lesson that Heather Kuzmich’s experience teaches. Though facing challenges which are sometimes overwhelming, our special needs children and adults, relatives and friends deserve all the opportunities that we give to others. With patience and some assistance, they too can serve as top models for themselves and others.

Our Intern Grew Up: Installation of Rabbi Alissa Forrest

Installation of Rabbi Alissa Forrest
As a Rabbi at Temple Isaiah of Lafayette, CA By Rabbi Paul J. Kipnes, Congregation Or Ami, Calabasas, CA October 11, 2007 * 1 Cheshvan 5768

It is an honor to be here tonight, to stand on the bimah of four esteemed colleagues, Rabbis Roberto Graetz and Judy Shanks, Cantor Leigh Korn and Educator Debbie Enelow, each one beloved and respected throughout the world of Jewish professionals for their wisdom, their warmth, their humility. Each possesses a gutta neshama, a good soul. Because of their leadership, and the partnership between them and your lay leaders, Temple Isaiah is highly regarded all over for your top notch religious school, your active youth group(the largest in the region), your incredible leadership development curriculum, for your strong adult learning programs, and for your openness to exploring new ways of being and doing Jewish. It is an honor to visit a synagogue about which I have heard so many outstanding stories.
It is also a pleasure to welcome Rabbi Forrest’s parents Linda and Richard. Spend some time getting to know them and you will understand quickly why Rabbi Forrest is so warm and approachable. You can tell a lot about how wonderful a person is from the wonderful friends they keep. So please welcome Rabbi Jocee Hudson, Rabbi Forrest’s classmate and friend, now Director of Religious Education at Temple Beth Sholom in Santa Ana. I transmit to you a heartfelt mazel tov from our Cantor Doug Cotler, whose father Ted Cotler was cantor here at Temple Isaiah (your library is named after Ted Cotler). Cantor Doug Cotler cut his cantorial teeth – or better, tuned his cantorial vocals – in this very community. Finally, I bring you greetings from Congregation Or Ami in Calabasas, CA for you and for Rabbi Forrest. Know that these greetings are bittersweet, because our congregation deeply admires your Alissa Forrest. In her three short years with us, they came to view our Intern Alissa Forrest as one of their rabbis. We all miss her. A story. A week before he travels up north to install a former intern as rabbi in her new congregation, a rabbi is talking with his son. The child, being inquisitive and exceedingly bright, peppers his father with questions. “Daddy, what is an installation?” The rabbi answers, “Remember when we redecorated the house and put down new floors? We say we installed the floors. Get it?” The son thinks it over and says, “Oh, an installation is when people get to put something down and they get to walk all over it.” Rabbi responds, “Well, yes, but no. We hope that by installing this new rabbi, people won’t be putting her down, but that she will lift them up spiritually. And we pray they won’t walk all over her either. Hmmm, try this. Remember when we bought that new computer program you love? First, we took the computer CD and put it in the disk drive. Then the program installed itself on the computer so you could play with it. Understand?” The son nods his head, “I remember that. It took you four tries to get it to work right, and you kept blaming the program. Is that what’s going to happen at this synagogue when you try to install her?” The rabbi, with a wry smile, answers, “Gosh I hope they won’t blame her every time something goes wrong. But this new rabbi is very intuitive and she’s really a team player. When things do go wrong, we hope they will turn to her in partnership so she can help figure out how to address the challenges.” Confused, the son asks, “Then Daddy, what is an installation?” The rabbi takes a deep breath and tries again. “Remember when we visited that new art exhibit at the Museum? In the weeks before the exhibit opened, the Museum workers installed the artwork.” The son smiles, “Oh, now I get it. An installation is when you make everything look nice so people can look at it but they don’t necessarily have to buy it.” Rabbi, exhausted now, responds, “Well, we hope that they will buy what the new rabbi has to say. She is very bright and thoughtful and her new congregation would do well to listen to her guidance.” “Then Daddy, I don’t get it.” begins the son. At which point the rabbi, having had enough, interrupts his son and telling him, “Go into the living room and install that new light bulb.” As the son walks out of the room, you could hear him whispering, “Ohhhhh, I get it now. To install the intern, turn clockwise.” In the three wonderful years I shared with your rabbi as our intern, I rarely turned her clockwise or counterclockwise. Rabbi Forrest, however, turned around so many programs at Congregation Or Ami. Creative beyond her years, particularly in the areas of community building, formal and informal Jewish education, and youth work, then Rabbinic Intern Alissa Forrest partnered with us to transform Or Ami in abiding ways. Our once tired post-B’nai Mitzvah program was reinvigorated by Rabbi Forrest who, in partnership with our educator, created the Temple Teen Night, an evening of socializing and study that has succeeded in ensuring that 85% of our B’nai Mitzvah students now continue to be involved in the congregation. Simultaneously, Rabbi Forrest created ex nihilo, out of nothingness, a new Saturday morning minyan and Torah study which, in partnership with our tutor, now involves B’nai mitzvah families, is developing committed lay readers, and infusing our congregation with even more Jewish spirituality, learning and warmth. There’s another memorable story in Torah this week: about Noah, the great flood, a multilayered ark, and a bunch of animals wandering around. One day God decides to transform the world and elects Noah to do it. God was investing in this person so much trust and such responsibility. Why did God choose Noah? About this, the Torah only hints. We read nothing about an executive search committee conducting interviews of potential leadership candidates. But we do find clues about what kind of leader we should turn to for guidance and direction. Torah refers to Noah as an ish tzadik, a righteous person. The Torah teaches us tamim hayah bedorotav – that Noah was “blameless in his generation” (Genesis 6:9). When we look for people to guide us, our standards should be equally high. As Rabbi Jonathan Blake writes: Who is Noah? Noah is every man and woman who will swim against the tide when the waves crest high. He is the kid who won’t bully the small boy at recess even when all his buddies are doing it; the shareholder who won’t take the insider tip even when everyone’s sharing. She is the prison guard in a faraway place who won’t join in the humiliation of the captives (and might even hold accountable those who do). He is testimony that God desires not perfection, but the will to strive for excellence. She is the hope that even when it looks like everyone is becoming corrupted, some are not. Some will not. Noah is you and I at our best, when we remember that the power to tarnish the soul, or to polish it, lies deep within every human being. He is, most of all, proof that Hillel’s advice is always timely: “In a place where there are no menschen (ethical people) strive to be a mensch (ethical person)”. You have chosen to welcome into your community Alissa Forrest – a leader, teacher, nurturer, programmer, spiritual being – a rabbi who like Noah lives ethically, strives toward excellence, and will guide you all – adults, teens, individuals, couples and families all – to attain the wholeness and greatness toward which God calls you. You, like God, made a wise choice. Now remember, at the time God installed him, Noah was a relative youngster, a mere 600 years old in a world where people lived to be more than 900. (Alas, we all were like that once. I remember fondly when my beard was black not white, when hair was, well, present.) Like Noah, Rabbi Forrest will fool you with her relative youthfulness. Those of you wise enough to look beyond her age, will turn to her for guidance and support, and will find a depth of wisdom and compassion borne out of experience counseling Jews recovering from addictions and supporting adults lying alone in their hospital beds. You will soon kvell as young families flock toward her enthusiasm for Judaism; teens seek out her genuineness; as each of you come to appreciate her as your teacher and confidante. You see, your rabbi is an isha tama, a righteous person, humble, thoughtful, spiritual. So learn from her. Treat her well. Give her time off to learn Torah. Make sure she has enough time to nurture a personal life. Send her off to Israel and study retreats to nurture her soul. Let her guide you with her innovative ideas. And enjoy. For she is truly amazing! A final story, which I learned from Rabbi Janet Marder. Back in the late 19th century, Rabbi Nathan Finkel headed a yeshiva in Slobodka, a small town in Lithuania. On cold, dark winter mornings, the rabbi used to get up early, cross over the bridge and go into town. He would stop off in all the shtibelech, all the little prayer houses and places of study, one after another. And in each small, dark room, he would light a fire in the oven and stoke the flames before continuing on his rounds. “Why did he do it” his closest friends would ask? And he would respond: “If all the prayer houses and places of study are warm early in the morning, then coachmen, porters and all kinds of people will come in to get warm – and then they will find themselves in a sacred place.” What does a good rabbi do? She helps make the synagogue a warm place — a refuge from the chilly indifference of the streets, the brutal competition of the marketplace, the casual cruelty of the playground – places where people are judged by how they look and how they perform and what they earn and who they know. A good rabbi makes the synagogue a sanctuary – a holy place, a safe and protected space, where people come in out of the cold. “They’ll come in to get warm,” said Rabbi Nathan, “and then they will find themselves in a sacred place.” It is warmth that brings people in – the comfort of finding friends and feeling at home; the knowledge that within these walls, within this place of Torah, a different ethic prevails; here we behave like a mensch: we treat one another with compassion and respect. Your new Rabbi, Alissa Forrest, radiates deep caring and kindness that lie at the core of her being. She understands the power of Rabbi Nathan’s lesson: Let people first get warm – and then they will turn to study, and begin to understand the meaning of a holy place. Remember that little boy in that first story said “to install intern as rabbi, turn clockwise.” I counsel something different. I invite you to turn, to turn your hearts toward Rabbi Forrest, as you do to Rabbis Shanks and Graetz, to Cantor Korn, to educator Enelow and to the rest of the staff. You see, your Rabbi Alissa Forrest is one of the up and coming bright young stars of our Reform movement. And you, Temple Isaiah, are making her one of your own. You should feel very, very proud. Mazel Tov.

When It Comes to Genocide, You Can’t Split Hairs

When it comes to genocide, you can’t split hairs. Historically, we Jews have watched as others let their own self-interest take precedence over our safety. Now, as the tables are turned, as we face the opportunity of naming as genocide the 1915-1916 massacres by Ottoman forces against Armenians, we must speak truth to power. When it comes to genocide, you can’t split hairs…

Thankfully, the Jews are helping lead the way…
JTA reports today, In close vote on Armenian genocide, Jewish members deliver anguished “yeas” (10/12/2007 ).

Members of the U.S. House Committee on Foreign Affairs ignored party lines this week in a close vote Wednesday approving a resolution recognizing the massacres carried out in 1915 and 1916 by Ottoman forces against Armenians as a genocide. But the tally among Jewish members on the committee — all of them Democrats — was overwhelming: 7-1 in favor. Overall, the motion passed the committee in a 27-21 vote — 19 Democratic and 8 Republican in favor, 8 Democrats and 13 Republicans opposed — despite last-minute warnings from President Bush and his top aides that the resolution could harm U.S. relations with Turkey.

Lawmakers from both parties openly anguished, with some appearing to make up their minds only at the last minute. And, despite the overwhelming support of Jewish committee members for the resolution, nowhere was the anguish more palpable than in the comments of some of these lawmakers, as they struggled to balance their Holocaust-related sensitivity to the issue of recognizing genocide and concern for maintaining strong ties with Turkey, a friendly pro-American pro-Israeli Muslim beacon in a hostile neighborhood.

Haunting, Horrific, Uncomfortable: Why this Sculpture Sits Outside My Office

“Rabbi, this scuplture is so haunting! It is a downer – definately NOT Or Ami.” Many have commented on how uncomfortable the “Sudanese Mother and Child” sculpture makes them feel. That’s exactly why it sits in our foyer, outside the Rabbi’s office.

The horrors of the Darfurian genocide should make us all uncomfortable. We, who grew up in the shadow of the Holocaust, should be reminded daily of our responsibility to help victims and to push for an end to this conflict.

Sculptor John McManus has done two tours in Vietnam, coming home with a Purple Heart. He found inspiration for his work from starving black children in Biafra, from his personal experiences in Vietnam, and from his six year old little Jewish charge who died of lupus. As a catalyst for freedom from memories of the painful emotions he carries, his gifted hands spell out the haunting expression of war and suffering, culminating in “gentleness and love.”

This sculpture adorns the Jewish World Watch tzedakah can, our websites, and has been present at every Jewish World Watch lecture. It serves as a constant reminder of the work that we need to do. To find out how you can help, contact our Jewish World Watch liaison Laurie Tragen-Boykoff or visit the Jewish World Watch website.

How Do You Do a Bar Mitzvah in the Dark?

Did I tell you about the Bar Mitzvah service held on the 112 degree day? And then the lights went out! The Jewish Journal posted my article The Shabbat the Lights Went Out in Calabasas. Read on…

Our synagogue’s name, Or Ami, means “Light of My People.” The name reflects our hope to shine brightly the values and lessons of Torah and Jewish spirituality into our little corner of the world. We are a community of individuals who each carry the light as far as they can.

But a funny thing happened to young Jeffrey Rosenberg on his way to becoming a bar mitzvah on Sept. 1 — the lights went out all over town. Nevertheless, the boy took his first steps by candlelight on the road to becoming a man, and in the process, taught us all what it really meant to be a bar mitzvah.

Lessons Learned While Sweating Profusely

It was hot day in Calabasas. The thermometer was topping out at 112 degrees.

As Jeffrey Rosenberg’s parents came to accept that they would have to forgo the family tradition of watching their child read Torah in their backyard (both sisters Jill and Lynn had given their parents much nachas [joy] at their backyard simchas), we made the decision to move his bar mitzvah service back into our Mureau Road synagogue.

It did not take long to realize how amazing this bar mitzvah experience would be. I sat with Jeffrey and his dad Richard as the decision was finalized. I offered support and counsel to the teen.

I said, “You see, perhaps there is a lesson here on what it means to become a man. When disappointments happen…”

“We need to accept them and find a way to move on,” Jeffrey concluded, without missing a beat.

It was then that I caught a glimpse of why this child, yet to read Torah, had already made the transition onto the path to becoming a man. Just four hours before his ceremony was scheduled to begin, when plans envisioned for more than a year were being upended by devastating heat, this amazing boy found it within himself to wax philosophical.

I arrived at the synagogue early to ensure everything was set: chairs arranged, siddurs laid out, air conditioning set low and working. Jeffrey’s family arrived soon after to snap a few photographs. Although harried by the change in venue, all expected everything to run smoothly from there.

Not five minutes later — a mere 30 minutes before the ceremony was to start — the electricity cut out. With it went the lights, the Ner Tamid (Eternal Light above the Ark) and the air conditioning.

As the Darkness Descended, New Lights Shined

What do you do when Torah needs to be read, but the sanctuary is dark?

Break out the candles.

A yahrtzeit memorial candle was placed above the Ark as our makeshift Ner Tamid, reaffirming God’s presence among us. Rows of votive candles, originally set aside for an upcoming meditational Selichot service, illumined the bimah podium. After a guest returned from the local Albertsons, warm light and sweet fragrance wafted forth from scented tea candles placed on aluminum foil in the aisles. Cantor Doug Cotler’s wife Gail brought over a few more flashlights and a battery-operated lantern so the Torah could be read without worrying about dripping wax.

Guests arrived to a sanctuary that glowed. Delicious hibiscus-flavored lemonade arrived from the caterer to quell our growing thirst. Cantor Cotler and I huddled together to discuss which prayers and songs could be passed over in anticipation of the rising warmth.

Setting a High Bar at the Bar Mitzvah

I looked around for Jeffrey, figuring any 13-year-old might need some calming words as he contemplated chanting Torah by candlelight. Calling out a refrain heard many a time during his wandering-filled life — “Where’s Jeffrey?” — I discovered him smiling happily, posing for pictures and hanging out with relatives and friends. Dark room, air conditioning out, still this kid did not even break a sweat. On this Shabbat, Jeffrey set a high “bar” for maturity at his bar mitzvah, ensuring that we too took it all in stride.

At the last moment, I opened the Ark just to make sure that the Torah was properly rolled. I was met with a gush of cool air. I called over Cantor Cotler and then the bar mitzvah boy. Each experienced the same rush of air. The Ark was the coolest place in the room. As a rabbi, I recall saying that “the words of Torah warm the heart”; I now learned how “cool” Torah really could be.

Jackets removed, we all settled in for a meaningful, though somewhat abbreviated service. Just as the first sounds emerged from the cantor’s guitar, an amazing thing occurred: the electricity — and with it the lights, the Ner Tamid and the air conditioning — miraculously popped back on. Looking back, it was as if God was saying, “Lesson learned. Proceed to manhood.”

Perhaps wanting to enjoy the lemonade we made from lemons, Jeffrey requested that we keep the lights off. And so we did, basking in the unique aura of spirituality created by the candles. He even whispered that we should say all the prayers now that there was no rush.

Jeffrey led us from Chatzi Kaddish through Silent Prayer with confidence and comfort. The room filled with melodies of songs sung, aliyot chanted and sniffles as tears were shed. In the midst of Jeffrey’s d’var Torah (speech), the electricity cut out again. Except for the fact that two pages were out of order in his speech, nothing could trip Jeffrey up. His mother, Katie, and dad, Richard, couldn’t have been prouder.

Blessings for an Amazing Bar Mitzvah Boy

At each bar or bat mitzvah service, I especially look forward to standing before the Ark for a private moment of blessing with the student. Each blessing I craft especially for each individual, taking into account each student’s bar/bat mitzvah process, life challenges, and my hopes for his/her future. I also remind the students that when they began the process, they couldn’t read Hebrew, never read from Torah and were anxious about the path ahead. Now with the service all but concluded, they learned the supreme lesson of becoming a bar/bat mitzvah: that when they put their minds to it, nothing is beyond their reach. Parents and friends often ask what we talk about before the Ark; usually the student and I cherish these words as our own confidential conversation of holiness.

Standing there before the Ark with Jeffrey, I found myself momentarily at a loss for words. What meaningful words could any rabbi possibly say to a young man who never broke a sweat as he faced down multiple challenges?

So I asked him, “How do you think you did?”

Jeffrey nodded his head nonchalantly and answered, “Pretty good.”

I responded, “Yup, you are a bar mitzvah now.” And the words of blessing flowed easily from there.

Wisdom from the Middle Movement: Conservative Judaism at a Crossroads


In anticipation of the upcoming inauguration of Arnold Eisen as Chancellor at Jewish Theological Seminary, the Conservative Movement’s central institution, the Jewish Forward invited Conservative leaders to consider, “Is Conservative Judaism suffering from malaise? If so, what is the nature of the problem? And how should Conservative Jews steer their ship into the future?” Two responses caught my interest.

David Wolpe, LA’s star conservative rabbi, wrote lyrically and poignantly (as usual):

Covenantal Judaism. That is our philosophy and should be our name. Renaming heralds our rejuvenation. We believe in an ongoing dialogue with God. Not everything significant has already been said, nor is the modern world uniquely wise. Our task goes beyond mere clarification of the old or reflexive reverence for the new. As with a friendship, we cherish the past but are not limited to its formulations or assumptions. Venerating the teachings of Maimonides does not negate that tomorrow, with the tools of modern study, a new Rambam may arise. The Judaism of relationship. Covenantal Judaism. Such is our creed, our dogma, our gift.

Now that’s a Judaism that grabs me! Sounds like Reform Judaism at its best.

Jay Michaelson, director of Nehirim: GLBT Jewish Culture and Spirituality and a professor at Boston University Law School, wrote eloquently about the challenges that all streams of Judaism must face:

First, we live in an age of terror and unprecedented change, and the religions that are responding effectively to those conditions are the ones which get us in our kishkes — in the non-rational, spiritual, primal, mythic and even mystical aspects of ourselves.

Second, American Jews today are pragmatists: They want what works. Meditation works; serious, lively text study works (for educated elites, anyway); drum circles work; spirituality works. Rattle-your-jewelry Judaism, old clichés about antisemitism and Israel, and the sober, boring conventionality of much of Conservative Judaism just doesn’t work. Nor do dead theologies and dogmas which no one believes anymore.

Finally, the Conservative movement spent so much energy worrying about whether gays could be good Jews that they forgot to ask why anyone would want to be. Now it needs to ask, “What do we provide that nothing else does?” The answer isn’t community, ethics or culture; Jews can get those elsewhere. But the spark of divinity, the charge of holiness, the power of myth — these are treasures that we can’t get anywhere else. We just have to dare to embrace them.

I hope they, and we Reform Jews, listen to this wisdom.

Talk about a Mind Game: Counter-cultural Values at Camp Newman

There is something about the URJ Camp Newman that brings out the best about people. It might be the fact that is founded upon a belief that each child is created b’tzelem Elohim, in the image of God (Genesis), and that therefore, no matter what they do or say, they are valuable and good and worthy of love. From the moment a child (or a staff or faculty member, for that matter) walks into camp, he/she is bombarded with that message: that he/she is lovable and loved. Talk about a mind game!

We live in a world where people make names for themselves or make their riches by climbing all over other people or by demeaning others. Our schools are littered with youngsters harmed by the “Mean Girls” and “Queen Bee and Wannabees.” Our elections reward those who resort to negative advertising. The message in our world is clear: “I’m better than you. I’m good so you are not.” This reality makes you wonder, just what is going on at our camp?

At Camp Newman, we teach that even though I am created b’tzelem Elohim, so are you. (We even sing a song by Dan Nichols about this value.) That means I need to treat you with respect, kindness and compassion. No matter what. It is so counter-cultural! And it permeates every aspect of camp life.

  • Campers arriving on the first day are bombarded by joyous singing of a song: “Heveynu Shalom Aleichem – we bring peace to you!” It brings smiles to the faces of even the most anxious kids and parents.
  • Counselors are taught to lead their Tochnit (Judaica learning program) activities in such a way that every child’s comments are valued.
  • On Yom Sports (Sports Day, elsewhere known as Color War) we play a plethora of activities including sports, drama, and art so that every child – even the non-athletic – have an opportunity to be successful. At the end of the day of inter-team competition, few focus on who really won. The message permeates the camp: everyone is a winner because we all had fun!
  • Hashkevah (bedtime activities) – trust walks, nighttime gaga, pass the yarn – are geared toward creating community. Get to know everyone because everyone matters!
  • Of course, try climbing the 50 foot tower. The amazing Tower staff are trained to help each person challenge him/herself. Making it to the top is less important than pushing yourself or learning about yourself. (Trust me, I succeeded in climbing higher than ever before – still shy of the top – and they made me feel great about myself!

Walk through any high school and you will see the cliquish division of the lunchroom: football jocks here, computer geeks there, drama kids over there… Walk through camp Newman and you will see kids shedding labels, collecting friends, intermingling in amazing ways.

At my home Congregation Or Ami (Calabasas, CA), we strive to promulgate similar values by wearing name tags at services, reaching out through our Henaynu (We are Here) caring community, and welcoming guests by name at services. Word on the street is that we do it well. And here’s the secret to why: as a former camp director, I keep camp as a model. In fact, I return to Camp Newman every summer for just that purpose: to renew my understanding of the Jewish value of b’tzelem Elohim. Now that I’ve left Camp Newman, I cannot wait to return. Because camp makes me feel so good about myself and everybody else!

Who are the Real Constituents of Jewish Summer Camping?

Jewish summer camping offers our youth – 3rd through 12th grade students – with a profoundly transformational Jewish experience. Elsewhere it has been shown that as part of the holy (Jewish) trinity of Jewish experiences – synagogue membership/participation, Israel trips and Jewish summer camp – summers at Jewish camp serves to instill a deep appreciation for and connection to Jewish community, identity and practice for our children. That is why my wife Michelle and I lead a delegation of our Congregation Or Ami youth every summer to the URJ Camp Newman in Santa Rosa, California.

But as I wander the camp and watch the goings on, I am increasingly convinced that as much as we focus on the poignancy of the Jewish summer camping experience for our youth, camp has an equally profound effects on another population: the adults who serve on staff and faculty. Camp Newman’s population flourishes with the support of college age counselors, graduate student senior staff, Israeli post-army volunteers, as well as a myriad of volunteer doctors, nurses, rabbis, educators, cantors, artists. Most will explain that they relish the opportunity to help create a nurturing Jewish environment for the campers. Each, when invited to get personal, will confess that camp offers, and continues to offer them retreat and rejuvenation for their own Jewish souls.

Doctors and camp nurses use their own vacation time to come to camp, yet their stethoscopes (and bedside manner) get plenty of practice as they respond to cuts and bruises, the mid-summer Camp Crud, and that occasional broken toe. Discussions around the faculty dinner table regularly focus on best rabbinic practices, sermon topics, and pastoral care challenges. Betwixt and between, we share parenting tips and suggestions of how to survive the first child getting her driver’s license.

Rabbinical and education students flock to camp, drawn by the opportunity to put into practice the Jewish values they hold so dear. Simultaneously, they discover one of the most vibrant Jewish communities outside of the State of Israel. I spoke with Josh Brown, Director of Education (overseeing program, staff, camper issues and almost everything else, it seems) about why he comes to camp. This fifth year rabbinic student, who probably should be researching his rabbinic thesis, instead works his tuchis off here at camp from early morning to late at night. A mini-Moses in his pre-Yitro days, he carries the weight of the program on his shoulders. Josh told me he comes because “I think this is an ideal world, and it rejuvenates me to live in an ideal Jewish world for ten weeks over the summer.” Camp makes real the ideal. Or as the staff shirts all declare, “Camp is life, the rest is details.”

Camp Newman, ever the trailblazer, even has a staff member who is the Director of Adult and Staff Education. This vibrant young Rabbinic student Jordy spends her days (and often late into the night) developing formal and informal learning opportunities for these young (and not so young) adults. Tomorrow, as part of her “Hot Topics” lunchtime series, I am teaching a session on Abortion, Stem Cell Research and Choice: When Does Life Begin and Who Cares Anyway? Her intense creativity and limitless inspiration led Jordy even convinced me (and the other faculty) to make a donation to host a delicious catered meal for those staff members who gave up their free time to come and learn.) On Sunday evening, I sit with the Israeli mishlachat (delegation) for a panel discussion on America and Israel: Issues, Perspectives, Relationships. Yesterday, five days before the program (a life-time by camp standards), Jordy handed me a list of questions to ponder.

Sometime this week, I will draft a sermon or two while sitting quietly under the tall California Redwoods. Later, I hope to take in an afternoon of wine-tasting. And of course, I will do my share of B’nai Mitzvah tutoring, service leading, bunk talks, and program brainstorming. But lest anyone think otherwise, I come back to camp each summer for one reason: Camp Newman rejuvenates my soul.

Karen Harris Writes: When “Our” Special Needs Student Brandon Kaplan Became a Bar Mitzvah

Congregant Karen Harris writes:

The anticipation had been growing for months. Plans were being made, prayers were being studied and learned in sign language and the Brandon Kaplan Special Needs Fund was being established. When the invitation for Brandon’s Bar Mitzvah service arrived, I immediately responded that of course I would attend. I was honored to be included in those able to witness Brandon becoming a Bar Mitzvah. I was also curious and, if the truth be told, skeptical about Brandon’s abilities to actually perform the mitzvot necessary. After all, he does not speak, his sight is impaired, and I had no idea about his intellect. I have seen Brandon at services for the last seven years and always delighted in seeing how responsive he was to Cantor Doug Cotler’s music. I have seen him hug his beloved plush Torah to his chest and smile lovingly as Rabbi Paul Kipnes taught us Torah. But does he know what that represents? I was not sure . Certainly Brandon found joy in the midst of our congregational family. Certainly he was a shining fixture at services. But Torah? and God?… could that be beyond Brandon’s grasp?

On the Friday night before his Bar Mitzvah service, congregants gathered at Congregation Or Ami in Calabasas to celebrate with Brandon. One member who is a professional flautist even came to play for him. When we were told that Brandon would be unable to attend the services as he was resting and preparing for his “big day,” it did not matter, we were there to celebrate Brandon and what he was about to achieve. The excitement in the sanctuary was palpable. After services members happily stayed to help set up chairs to accommodate the large group that was expected the next morning. It seemed that everyone wanted to be a part of this simcha. It was not because Brandon’s father Michael has served our congregation as President for the past two years. It was not because his mother Dina is an advocate for all children with special needs. It was because we have all watched Brandon grow over the past seven years. Grow as a person and as a member of the congregation with involvement in the Mishpacha Family Alternative Learning Program, the support group for families with Special Needs children, and regular attendance at services. Pretty impressive for a child so severely impaired that he remains undiagnosed within the medical and Special Education communities!

There was a thrill in the air Saturday morning. As Brandon’s guests arrived they each received a red bracelet commemorating the day and a package of Kleenex. The sanctuary was filled beyond capacity as the service began. It was explained that while we do not ordinarily applaud our B’nai Mitzvah, this was a most appropriate way for us to show Brandon our love, pride and approval.

Moreover, Rabbi Kipnes taught, “”There are two values being played out today, simultaneously, Brandon is a kid like any other kid created in the image of God, worthy of love. But Brandon is also a special kid and there is an honor and joy to our congregation that he participates to the fullness of his abilities. So he’s normal and special, but here’s the secret: so is every other kid.”

So Brandon stood on the bima with his dad and sister Jennifer. As he faced his mom for prompts, he clearly and distinctly signed the Shema and parts of the V’ahavta! He swayed with the liturgical music in the arms of his father. He had a look of pure unadulterated joy on his face as he marched around the congregation holding the Torah. No one in that sanctuary could deny that somewhere within his universe Brandon had connected to God and to the light and teachings of Torah. The Kleenex were not going to go to waste!

When it was time for the rabbi to have “the private moment of blessing” before the ark as he has with all our B’nai Mitzvah, he turned to Brandon, held his shoulders, touched his smiling face and spoke so no one but Brandon could hear. It was then that I was struck. This is just another kid becoming a Bar Mitzvah! How beautiful it was, how right and normal it felt. I suddenly “got” that Brandon is a uniquely spiritual young man who has served as a teacher to all of us who too often use the words “can’t” and “unable.” Although the attention to detail was extraordinary on the part of Brandon’s parents, teachers and clergy, it was clearly Brandon’s day to shine, and shine he did.

Afterward there was a wonderful party at Brandon’s Village, Calabasas’ universally accessible playground established in his honor. The weather was beautiful and everyone had a terrific time. As I was leaving I saw Rabbi Kipnes and told him how proud I was of Brandon and his family and of our congregation for being a place in which such an event would be so openly embraced. The Rabbi remarked, “See what happens when you get out of the way and let things happen!” As we say at Hanukkah, “A great miracle happened here”.

Marcy Cameron Reflects: “My Proudest Or Ami Moment: When Brandon Kaplan Became a Bar Mitzvah”

I have been a member of this congregation for seven years, serving on the board of directors and various committees, attending Mishpacha with my family and happily attending many social events and services. However, on Saturday, May 26, 2007, I experienced my proudest Or Ami moment when I attended the service in which Brandon Kaplan became a Bar Mitzvah. It was a beautiful Saturday morning; the sanctuary was full and alive with Cantor Doug Cotler’s music; and there was Kleenex in every hand! Brandon stood on the Bima – a young man who has managed to overcome so many challenges to reach this milestone. More challenges than should be allowed for someone that age. I am watching a family who never fails to be positive, supportive and giving. I am listening as Rabbi Paul Kipnes tells us that this moment is special and yet normal. No, it was not the most traditional service: a web-cam and 103 year-old grandpa lead the Motzi from across the country. Yet it was so traditional in that like every other B’nai Mitzvah, there was the boy Brandon leading the congregation in prayer. Whether you understood the sign language or not, you understood the significance of the day. I have never felt prouder to be part of a congregation that is so inclusive and able to adapt tradition to suit every need. To me the greatest part of Or Ami is our ability to reach out to everyone with a warm, welcoming hand and satisfy spiritual needs in ways that are as diverse as our members. What a gift to have been a part of this celebration and a part of Congregation Or Ami!

Sandy Stein Admits: “I Always Cry at Bar Mitzvah Services, But I Cried Even More at Brandon Kaplan’s!”

I seem to always cry at Bar Mitzvah services, mostly because I see our young children turning into young adults. Saturday May 26th, I just cried. I cried when Brandon Kaplan hugged the Torah with all his might, as though his life depended on it.

I cried when Brandon’s Grandma spoke to “her” Brandon.

I cried when his mother Dina would coax Brandon saying “Look at Mommy, Brandon”, and he would look at her adoringly, and sign his Torah portion.

I cried when his father, and our synagogue president, Michael Kaplan gave his “1 minute speech” which probably took him hours to write.

I cried when Great Grandpa of 103, recited the blessings over the wine and bread with a tear in his eye.

I cried because I am part of a Congregation that is a family. We are a family that is headed by our wonderful Rabbi Paul Kipnes, that always supports individuals and ideas, and that may not always conform to “normal” tradition. We all reveled that one of our family was making his way to becoming a man.

As Brandon signed through his Bar Mitzvah service, it was a joy to see his triumph, evidenced by the thunderous applause he received. Towards the end of his Bar Mitzvah celebration, Brandon signed “More Bar Mitzvah, more Bar Mitzvah”.

I cried…I wanted “More Bar Mitzvah” too!

William Gottschalk Realizes: “Experiencing the Same Joy When a Son Becomes a Bar Mitzvah”

Many attended the celebration of Brandon Kaplan becoming a Bar Mitzvah because of the respect for the efforts and influence of the Kaplan family. Many were also curious as to how this ceremony could be done because Brandon is so different from other kids. His special needs are significant. The service and ceremony were so wonderful, but most important, it demonstrated the love that this family has for this very special child. It was such a pleasure to see the Kaplan family experience the same joy of their son becoming a Bar Mitzvah as I did with my boys. Everyone’s efforts should be congratulated, but most important is that everyone present on Saturday should continue to enjoy the happiness that was created that day.