Category: blog archive

They are “High on Judaism!” Camp Newman Shabbat

One quickly becomes enamored with Shabbat at URJ Camp Newman. The energy, excitement and spirituality are overpowering. On Friday night, a sea of campers and staff, dressed in white, greets the Sabbath bride with endless waves of singing, energetic dancing and continuous hugging. The tefillah (prayer services) weaves a spiritual tapestry of traditional prayers, inspirational kid-friendly music and timeless Torah teachings delivered through an engaging story. Counselors stretching tallitot over the heads of their campers, creating a sukat shalom (shelter of peace) as we sing Hashkiveinu (a prayer of peace). Later, candles, Kiddush and motzi lead us into an especially delicious traditional chicken dinner. (Note on what’s memorable to kids: my son anticipates his return to camp by counting down the weeks until he can eat Camp Newman’s “extra delicious” Shabbat roast chicken dinner!)

Lazy day breakfast – sleep late and then come on in whenever you wake (unless you are in the cabin with the youngest Bonim campers who still rise at an ungodly 6:00 am) – sets the tone for Shabbat morning, while tefillah by eidah (unit) ensures that each group of children experience an age-appropriate spiritual experience and Torah learning experience. We anticipate camp’s traditional miznon (snack) of Its It ice cream cookies. Soon swimming and schmoozing give way to an evening of eidah songs and cheers, a concert by beloved Jewish songster Dan Nichols, and uplifting Havdala services. Yes, Shabbat at camp is framed by Friday evening Kabbalat Shabbat services, Saturday morning Shacharit services and Saturday evening Havdala.

Still, I find that the late Friday song and dance session truly captures the ruach (spirit) of Shabbat at camp. Take 450 children, staff and faculty. Crowd them together under an open-air tent. Surround them with almost a dozen talented guitar-play songleaders singing their favorite Jewish songs. Let this group sing, dance, wander around, laugh and play. Circles form for a song. They jump and sing. New circles form; conga lines collect stragglers.

It’s a Jewish rave. Except no one is drunk. No one is doing drugs. They are just “high on Judaism!”

I have 3 children. Since being a kid means being filled with energy, needing to run and dance and make noise, I am thrilled that they are doing up here at camp. Jewish kids singing Jewish songs in a safe, nurturing Jewish environment. And watching my wife and our friends dance around freely with them is an added bonus!

Did Jewish Summer Camping Influence the Shaping of Congregation Or Ami?

There’s something about being at the URJ Camp Newman Jewish summer camp that reminds me of being at our Congregation Or Ami. Perhaps it is the fact that I am surrounded by so many Or Ami kids – Michelle and I are leading a delegation of about 18 this summer. Perhaps interacting here with so many current and former Or Ami interns – Rabbi Alissa Forrest visited, Educator Josh Barkin, Mishpacha teachers Jonathan Fisch-Rothstein, Jordana Chernow-Reader and Luke Reader, incoming Mishpacha Coordinator Sara Mason – brings Or Ami up here to the Napa Valley area.

However, it may just be the fact that Camp Newman shares similar values with Congregation Or Ami – a commitment to community, a depth of caring, the centrality of music and singing, a dedication to social justice, and an inspiring creativity. Or it may just be that Or Ami grew out of the experience of many people who grew up in the Reform Movement summer camps and NFTY (North American Federation of Temple Youth). Perhaps these creative Jewish institutions gave birth to the influences that shaped, and continue to shape, Or Ami. Now that is an article worth pondering.

For now, enjoy these pictures of Or Ami kids and the children of friends of ours. Enjoy!

Who are the Real Constituents of Jewish Summer Camping?

Jewish summer camping offers our youth – 3rd through 12th grade students – with a profoundly transformational Jewish experience. Elsewhere it has been shown that as part of the holy (Jewish) trinity of Jewish experiences – synagogue membership/participation, Israel trips and Jewish summer camp – summers at Jewish camp serves to instill a deep appreciation for and connection to Jewish community, identity and practice for our children. That is why my wife Michelle and I lead a delegation of our Congregation Or Ami youth every summer to the URJ Camp Newman in Santa Rosa, California.

But as I wander the camp and watch the goings on, I am increasingly convinced that as much as we focus on the poignancy of the Jewish summer camping experience for our youth, camp has an equally profound effects on another population: the adults who serve on staff and faculty. Camp Newman’s population flourishes with the support of college age counselors, graduate student senior staff, Israeli post-army volunteers, as well as a myriad of volunteer doctors, nurses, rabbis, educators, cantors, artists. Most will explain that they relish the opportunity to help create a nurturing Jewish environment for the campers. Each, when invited to get personal, will confess that camp offers, and continues to offer them retreat and rejuvenation for their own Jewish souls.

Doctors and camp nurses use their own vacation time to come to camp, yet their stethoscopes (and bedside manner) get plenty of practice as they respond to cuts and bruises, the mid-summer Camp Crud, and that occasional broken toe. Discussions around the faculty dinner table regularly focus on best rabbinic practices, sermon topics, and pastoral care challenges. Betwixt and between, we share parenting tips and suggestions of how to survive the first child getting her driver’s license.

Rabbinical and education students flock to camp, drawn by the opportunity to put into practice the Jewish values they hold so dear. Simultaneously, they discover one of the most vibrant Jewish communities outside of the State of Israel. I spoke with Josh Brown, Director of Education (overseeing program, staff, camper issues and almost everything else, it seems) about why he comes to camp. This fifth year rabbinic student, who probably should be researching his rabbinic thesis, instead works his tuchis off here at camp from early morning to late at night. A mini-Moses in his pre-Yitro days, he carries the weight of the program on his shoulders. Josh told me he comes because “I think this is an ideal world, and it rejuvenates me to live in an ideal Jewish world for ten weeks over the summer.” Camp makes real the ideal. Or as the staff shirts all declare, “Camp is life, the rest is details.”

Camp Newman, ever the trailblazer, even has a staff member who is the Director of Adult and Staff Education. This vibrant young Rabbinic student Jordy spends her days (and often late into the night) developing formal and informal learning opportunities for these young (and not so young) adults. Tomorrow, as part of her “Hot Topics” lunchtime series, I am teaching a session on Abortion, Stem Cell Research and Choice: When Does Life Begin and Who Cares Anyway? Her intense creativity and limitless inspiration led Jordy even convinced me (and the other faculty) to make a donation to host a delicious catered meal for those staff members who gave up their free time to come and learn.) On Sunday evening, I sit with the Israeli mishlachat (delegation) for a panel discussion on America and Israel: Issues, Perspectives, Relationships. Yesterday, five days before the program (a life-time by camp standards), Jordy handed me a list of questions to ponder.

Sometime this week, I will draft a sermon or two while sitting quietly under the tall California Redwoods. Later, I hope to take in an afternoon of wine-tasting. And of course, I will do my share of B’nai Mitzvah tutoring, service leading, bunk talks, and program brainstorming. But lest anyone think otherwise, I come back to camp each summer for one reason: Camp Newman rejuvenates my soul.

Re-setting the Course of Life at Camp Newman

There are those who say that when you send a child to summer camp, you present him with the time of his life. I say that when you send a child to summer camp, you provide him with an opportunity to set – or re-set – the course of his life.

We have arrived at Camp Newman in Santa Rosa, the Union for Reform Judaism’s premier Jewish summer camp in Northern California. Michelle and I are leading a delegation of 18 children (including our own three) who have chosen to transform their lives through the magic of Jewish summer camping.

Driving through the front gates on opening day, we were welcomed with a resounding chorus of “Heveynu Shalom Aleichem – We welcome you all!” sung by teen Avodaniks committed to spreading the joy of Camp Newman. Registering with the senior staff, each child is warmly welcomed by a counselor in her eidah (or unit), who sweeps her up in a warm embrace and immediately begins to introduce her to other staff and campers. Old friends reunite; new friendships begin to blossom before my eyes.

Driving through the front gates of camp offers another opportunity – to set aside, at least temporarily, the pressures and challenges of the previous eleven months. Children come to camp, relieved to let go of the pressures of school, the pain of difficult familial relationships, the nagging questions of self-worth. At camp, the athletically-challenged kid finds space to excel; the socially-uncomfortable teen suddenly discovers popularity in a crowd of well-adjusted friends. At camp, you can be who you are, or whomever you want to be. You have arrived at a place where acceptance is unconditional. No one is more welcome at Camp Newman than you!

Michelle and I spent the day checking in on our Congregation Or Ami posse. Though spread out throughout camp – from the youngest Bonim campers to the second oldest Avodanikim – these children were adjusting well and falling comfortably into the warm embrace of a healthy, nurturing Jewish environment. What could be any more wonderful than that!

Reform Jews Move to Impact Israeli Society

The Jerusalem Post offers this on new Reform Movement focii in Israel:

“Part of our Zionist agenda is not only to connect Reform Jews and Israel, but to impact Israeli society,” said [ARZA’s Rabbi Andrew] Davids. “Our commitment to religious justice issues, to democracy, to pluralism, are tremendously important values that need to be strengthened and supported more in Israeli society. Our aliya efforts are designed to put more troops on the ground to strengthen Israel in these ways.”

This is great news! Focusing the connection to Israel on more than just the older brother taking care of the poor little sister. Israel can be the center stage where the struggle to assert the primacy of Jewish values can play out dramatically. Let’s work diligently to encourage more of our young people – and our less young families – to move to the center, our spiritual center, Israel. The Association for Reform Zionists of America and the Jewish Agency are onto something here! Read on.

Karen Harris Writes: When “Our” Special Needs Student Brandon Kaplan Became a Bar Mitzvah

Congregant Karen Harris writes:

The anticipation had been growing for months. Plans were being made, prayers were being studied and learned in sign language and the Brandon Kaplan Special Needs Fund was being established. When the invitation for Brandon’s Bar Mitzvah service arrived, I immediately responded that of course I would attend. I was honored to be included in those able to witness Brandon becoming a Bar Mitzvah. I was also curious and, if the truth be told, skeptical about Brandon’s abilities to actually perform the mitzvot necessary. After all, he does not speak, his sight is impaired, and I had no idea about his intellect. I have seen Brandon at services for the last seven years and always delighted in seeing how responsive he was to Cantor Doug Cotler’s music. I have seen him hug his beloved plush Torah to his chest and smile lovingly as Rabbi Paul Kipnes taught us Torah. But does he know what that represents? I was not sure . Certainly Brandon found joy in the midst of our congregational family. Certainly he was a shining fixture at services. But Torah? and God?… could that be beyond Brandon’s grasp?

On the Friday night before his Bar Mitzvah service, congregants gathered at Congregation Or Ami in Calabasas to celebrate with Brandon. One member who is a professional flautist even came to play for him. When we were told that Brandon would be unable to attend the services as he was resting and preparing for his “big day,” it did not matter, we were there to celebrate Brandon and what he was about to achieve. The excitement in the sanctuary was palpable. After services members happily stayed to help set up chairs to accommodate the large group that was expected the next morning. It seemed that everyone wanted to be a part of this simcha. It was not because Brandon’s father Michael has served our congregation as President for the past two years. It was not because his mother Dina is an advocate for all children with special needs. It was because we have all watched Brandon grow over the past seven years. Grow as a person and as a member of the congregation with involvement in the Mishpacha Family Alternative Learning Program, the support group for families with Special Needs children, and regular attendance at services. Pretty impressive for a child so severely impaired that he remains undiagnosed within the medical and Special Education communities!

There was a thrill in the air Saturday morning. As Brandon’s guests arrived they each received a red bracelet commemorating the day and a package of Kleenex. The sanctuary was filled beyond capacity as the service began. It was explained that while we do not ordinarily applaud our B’nai Mitzvah, this was a most appropriate way for us to show Brandon our love, pride and approval.

Moreover, Rabbi Kipnes taught, “”There are two values being played out today, simultaneously, Brandon is a kid like any other kid created in the image of God, worthy of love. But Brandon is also a special kid and there is an honor and joy to our congregation that he participates to the fullness of his abilities. So he’s normal and special, but here’s the secret: so is every other kid.”

So Brandon stood on the bima with his dad and sister Jennifer. As he faced his mom for prompts, he clearly and distinctly signed the Shema and parts of the V’ahavta! He swayed with the liturgical music in the arms of his father. He had a look of pure unadulterated joy on his face as he marched around the congregation holding the Torah. No one in that sanctuary could deny that somewhere within his universe Brandon had connected to God and to the light and teachings of Torah. The Kleenex were not going to go to waste!

When it was time for the rabbi to have “the private moment of blessing” before the ark as he has with all our B’nai Mitzvah, he turned to Brandon, held his shoulders, touched his smiling face and spoke so no one but Brandon could hear. It was then that I was struck. This is just another kid becoming a Bar Mitzvah! How beautiful it was, how right and normal it felt. I suddenly “got” that Brandon is a uniquely spiritual young man who has served as a teacher to all of us who too often use the words “can’t” and “unable.” Although the attention to detail was extraordinary on the part of Brandon’s parents, teachers and clergy, it was clearly Brandon’s day to shine, and shine he did.

Afterward there was a wonderful party at Brandon’s Village, Calabasas’ universally accessible playground established in his honor. The weather was beautiful and everyone had a terrific time. As I was leaving I saw Rabbi Kipnes and told him how proud I was of Brandon and his family and of our congregation for being a place in which such an event would be so openly embraced. The Rabbi remarked, “See what happens when you get out of the way and let things happen!” As we say at Hanukkah, “A great miracle happened here”.

Marcy Cameron Reflects: “My Proudest Or Ami Moment: When Brandon Kaplan Became a Bar Mitzvah”

I have been a member of this congregation for seven years, serving on the board of directors and various committees, attending Mishpacha with my family and happily attending many social events and services. However, on Saturday, May 26, 2007, I experienced my proudest Or Ami moment when I attended the service in which Brandon Kaplan became a Bar Mitzvah. It was a beautiful Saturday morning; the sanctuary was full and alive with Cantor Doug Cotler’s music; and there was Kleenex in every hand! Brandon stood on the Bima – a young man who has managed to overcome so many challenges to reach this milestone. More challenges than should be allowed for someone that age. I am watching a family who never fails to be positive, supportive and giving. I am listening as Rabbi Paul Kipnes tells us that this moment is special and yet normal. No, it was not the most traditional service: a web-cam and 103 year-old grandpa lead the Motzi from across the country. Yet it was so traditional in that like every other B’nai Mitzvah, there was the boy Brandon leading the congregation in prayer. Whether you understood the sign language or not, you understood the significance of the day. I have never felt prouder to be part of a congregation that is so inclusive and able to adapt tradition to suit every need. To me the greatest part of Or Ami is our ability to reach out to everyone with a warm, welcoming hand and satisfy spiritual needs in ways that are as diverse as our members. What a gift to have been a part of this celebration and a part of Congregation Or Ami!

Sandy Stein Admits: “I Always Cry at Bar Mitzvah Services, But I Cried Even More at Brandon Kaplan’s!”

I seem to always cry at Bar Mitzvah services, mostly because I see our young children turning into young adults. Saturday May 26th, I just cried. I cried when Brandon Kaplan hugged the Torah with all his might, as though his life depended on it.

I cried when Brandon’s Grandma spoke to “her” Brandon.

I cried when his mother Dina would coax Brandon saying “Look at Mommy, Brandon”, and he would look at her adoringly, and sign his Torah portion.

I cried when his father, and our synagogue president, Michael Kaplan gave his “1 minute speech” which probably took him hours to write.

I cried when Great Grandpa of 103, recited the blessings over the wine and bread with a tear in his eye.

I cried because I am part of a Congregation that is a family. We are a family that is headed by our wonderful Rabbi Paul Kipnes, that always supports individuals and ideas, and that may not always conform to “normal” tradition. We all reveled that one of our family was making his way to becoming a man.

As Brandon signed through his Bar Mitzvah service, it was a joy to see his triumph, evidenced by the thunderous applause he received. Towards the end of his Bar Mitzvah celebration, Brandon signed “More Bar Mitzvah, more Bar Mitzvah”.

I cried…I wanted “More Bar Mitzvah” too!

William Gottschalk Realizes: “Experiencing the Same Joy When a Son Becomes a Bar Mitzvah”

Many attended the celebration of Brandon Kaplan becoming a Bar Mitzvah because of the respect for the efforts and influence of the Kaplan family. Many were also curious as to how this ceremony could be done because Brandon is so different from other kids. His special needs are significant. The service and ceremony were so wonderful, but most important, it demonstrated the love that this family has for this very special child. It was such a pleasure to see the Kaplan family experience the same joy of their son becoming a Bar Mitzvah as I did with my boys. Everyone’s efforts should be congratulated, but most important is that everyone present on Saturday should continue to enjoy the happiness that was created that day.

Walking for Darfur: Or Ami Steps Forward to Stop Genocide

Over forty Or Ami members joined together with others from across the San Fernando Valley to walk for Darfur, decrying the genocide that continues to plague that part of the Sudan. Teen Osher Shefer shared these reflections on the Walk for Darfur:

“Come on, Get up!” Waking up early to drive 20 miles east wasn’t my idea of a lazy Sunday morning. As we got into the car, I briefly thought about Darfur. With my iPod on, it wasn’t truly on my mind. Arriving at Jewish World Watch (WWW) rally at the Milken Jewish Community Campus in West Hills, I realized how many people actually got up like me and spent part of their Sunday for this wonderful cause: ending the genocide in Darfur, Sudan. We got our picket signs up and our big banner and we started walking. The walk was fantastic. Every time somebody honked at our work, we all cheered in joy and felt appreciated. The line of walkers continued past the corners of every block. It was good to know you weren’t alone. As we came back to Milken Jewish Community Campus, we felt like we had accomplished something great. At the Jewish Center, there were little tents set up for us inside the pavilion. Within each of them was a little memorial to honor the hundreds of thousands who died in the genocides in Armenia, Cambodia, Rwanda, Bosnia, the Holocaust, and Darfur. Looking through these was heartbreaking. To think that all these hundreds of thousands of people died because of racism. This thought brought me to tears. As I walked into each tent, I realized that this had happened during the Holocaust and it shouldn’t happen again. We are always talking about how history repeats itself and we should learn from it, and here was our chance. When I finally came out of the last tent, I looked down at my neck card. Around each person’s neck was card with one paragraph describing someone’s terrible story of their experience in Darfur. I read mine, and then my mother’s and my father’s. I read my friends’ as well. These cards and this experience made me realize how unfortunate and how terrible their lives are. We need to help them…they need us. We Jews regularly remember the Holocaust and decry the world’s inaction. May this Walk for Darfur raise additional awareness and lead others to work toward the end of modern genocidal regimes.
To learn more about how to help stop the genocide in Darfur, go to Jewish World Watch.

Leaning Right and Leaning Left: Jewish Bifurcation on How to Best Support Israel

I’m a card carrying member of AIPAC because no one mobilizes the support of Congress and the Administration in support of Israel like AIPAC does. I believe Israel needs to have friends on both sides of the political aisle, and AIPAC does just that. I will always be a supporter of AIPAC for just that reason.

But in my bifurcated Jewish existence, simultaneously, I am a supporter of Rabbis for Human Rights and other pro-Israel left leaning groups, because I worry that sometimes (often?) AIPAC leans too far to the right. I want a strong Israel, but I want an Israel that is encouraged and supported as it continually seeks out partners in conversation about peace. Sometimes, I worry as to whether some organizations can really do that.

So I was encouraged to read in the Jewish Forward that “Dovish Groups Mull Mega-Merger In Bid To Build Peace Powerhouse.” It seems that leaders of Americans for Peace Now, the Israel Policy Forum and Brit Tzedek v’Shalom, three leading dovish Israel advocacy groups, are in discussions that proponents hope will produce a new mega-organization with greater political clout and more money to push for a two-state solution. This too is good.

Why? According to the Forward, the issue of serving as a dovish balance to Aipac is discussed frequently. One activist involved in the initiative spoke of the need to send Congress a message that “there are other voices in the community” and that lawmakers “don’t have to automatically support unnecessary resolutions” about Israel. Another activist said that many in the Jewish community “are dying” to present an alternative to Aipac on issues relating to the Israeli-Palestinian peace process. At the same time, all those involved stressed their strong appreciation for Aipac’s role in supporting and strengthening Israel. They made clear that the new group — if and when created — would not aim to challenge or replace Aipac as the leading pro-Israel lobby.

Many will decry the prospects of splitting a clear voice and hard line on Israel. Always a proponent for diversity, I welcome this bifurcation. Let a multiplicity of good voices be heard; let dissent be considered seriously. Eilu v’eilu divray Elohim chayim – both this and that are the words of the Living God!

Communicating Openness: We Welcome Families with Special Needs

We know that Congregation Or Ami is a community that really “gets it” with regards to families with children with special needs. The families that are part of the synagogue – enjoying the B’nai Mitzvah we have crafted for children with all sorts of special needs, thriving in our Mishpacha program because its coordinator contact each special needs family before each session, and growing in the warmth of our Support Group for Parents of children with special needs – they know we “get it” too! But how do we communicate this to people in the greater community?

We are so excited to post our new webpage for Families with Special Needs. Filled with perspectives, policies, and personal reflections, we hope it will be inviting and encouraging! (And it was fun to create too!)

So check out our new webpage for Families with Special Needs.

Educator Michal-Rozenberg Yalovsky Receives Ner Ami Innovator Award

Another person who inspires!

Congregation Or Ami bestowed its first Ner Ami Innovator award to Educator Michal Rozenberg-Yalovsky for her transformational work creating the new Kesher Learning program. The Ner Ami Innovator award is presented to synagogue and community leaders who shine new light in the areas of Jewish education, ritual and community. Literally “Lamp of My People,” the Ner Ami Innovator award is symbolized by handmade Shabbat candles, and takes its name from the Friday night ritual in which Jews usher in the Sabbath with a pair of nerot or candles.

In presenting the award to Rozenberg-Yalovsky at the synagogue’s Faculty Appreciation service, Rabbi Paul Kipnes explained, “Under Michal’s guidance, we take another bold step forward in the field of Jewish education, creating Kesher to replace the traditional inflexible religious school. Kesher means connection in Hebrew and we hope that this Kesher will further strengthen the connection of our students to Judaism. Kesher offers individualized Hebrew instruction in groups of four to six students, creative Judaica learning with a newly designed curriculum, and multiple class options so that the learning program can fit into most family schedules. This is only the most recent of Michal Rozenberg-Yalovsky’s gifts to the Jewish community in the four years since she came to Congregation Or Ami. As such, we are thrilled to be able to honor her with our Ner Ami Illuminator award.”

Michal Rozenberg-Yalovsky is Principal/Program Director of Congregation Or Ami. Call the synagogue at (818) 880-4880 to speak with Michal. Read the Acorn Newspaper article.

Prom Prep 101: Helping Foster Kids Experience the Joy of Being a Teen

Or Ami member Michelle Feinstein and her daughter Carly helped raise up a spark of holiness this month at Prom Prep 101. Michelle writes:

“We were like fairy godmothers getting Cinderella ready for the ball,” said Carly Feinstein (age 7 ½) of her experience in participating in the Prom – Prep Mitzvah. About 50 young foster girls ages 15-18 came from the Department of Children and Family Services to take part in making the Prom a beautiful memory. Most of these girls are able to go to their proms because of Prom Prep – 100. It was as magical an experience for them as it was for the over 75 volunteers who gave their time to assist in the process. We arrived at Bethel Lutheran Church in Encino to find that the classrooms had been transformed into Glamour stations for the girls to visit. Each volunteer was assigned a girl to spend the day with, and escort her through the process of selecting a beautiful gown to wear, choosing accessories to complete the ensemble from shoes, handbags and jewelry. We then continued with hair styling and makeovers by professional stylists, including manicures! Photographers were on hand to capture the before and after shots of the girls – they were lovely!!! The afternoon was culminated by a runway presentation, an inspiring speaker and a luncheon. “I was so proud to be a part of making the day so nice for someone who truly needed it. It was a great opportunity for my daughter and I to do this together – we will certainly do it again next year!”

Joanna Gould, who attended the event this year and last year and whose mother Susan Gould helped organize Or Ami’s participation in the event, spoke in her Bat Mitzvah d’var Torah (speech) about the longer lasting relationships that develop from these mitzvah opportunities:

I also volunteered at an event called “Prom Prep 101” where teenage girls in foster care attend a special event to select a dress and accessories to wear to their prom. I met this amazing girl named Kaylee there and we have kept in touch ever since. My family is mentoring her. In addition, I have been sponsoring a little girl named Andrea who was severely burned in an accident. We helped make her life easier by getting an air conditioner for her so that she would not be so miserable in her compression garment. I also was able to take her shopping for items at the Mervyns’ Holiday Child-Spree event last month.

Calabasas Boy Overcomes Serious Disabilities to Become a Bar Mitzvah (Acorn, 5/24/07)

The local weekly, The Acorn, tells us about one of the more emotional events at Or Ami, the upcoming Bar Mitzvah service of Brandon Kaplan. Brandon cannot write or speak, but he understands Judaism and loves Torah. And on Shabbat this Memorial Day Weekend, he becomes a Bar Mitzvah. I suspect there will not be a “dry eye in the house.”

But lest we think otherwise, B’nai Mitzvah for kids with special needs is not out of the ordinary, at least at Congregation Or Ami:

[Rabbi Paul] Kipnes emphasized that no matter what a child’s needs are, it’s never a question of if a child can have a bar or bat mitzvah- it’s when the ceremony will take place.

“There are two values being played out, simultaneously,” Kipnes said. “Brandon is a kid like any other kid created in the image of God, worthy of love.

“But Brandon is also a special kid and there is an honor and joy to the congregation that he participates to the fullness of his abilities. So he’s normal and special, but here’s the secret: so is every other kid.”

Congregation Or Ami has programs geared toward helping families with special needs children. One major program involved a coordinator calling all appropriate families to prepare them for the program or find ways to change it to make it work for them, Kipnes said.
Or Ami also has a support group for parents with special needs.

“There is a sense that children with special needs, physically, emotionally, mentally, don’t have a place in the synagogue, in the Jewish community,” Kipnes said.

“That’s just not true, particularly here. We have celebrated b’nai mitzvah with children with autism, emotional developmental problems, intense dyslexia, Tourette’s syndrome – the Torah and Judaism are available for all of them.”