Category: blog archive

Hillel Grows Up: Helping GBLTQ Students

This from the Jewish Forward (12/26/07).

Hillel, the Foundation which works with Jewish college students on campuses around the country, is growing up. Recognizing that lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (and queer and question) Jewish students exist and need Jewish support and services on college campuses,
Last week, Hillel’s president announced the completion of a guide that aims to help its staff members welcome “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning” students. The 186-page resource was written and edited by a largely gay-and-lesbian-identified group of Hillel professionals, several of whom have been discreetly meeting for years…
“I think what we’re dealing with in Hillel is well-intentioned professionals who want to be welcoming to all Jewish students,” said the guide’s editor, D’ror Chankin-Gould, in an interview with the Forward. “[Now we have] the resources to educate well-intentioned people in how to do better.” The guide, which was distributed to staff members at a Hillel conference and discussed at a workshop, includes chapters on coming out in Jewish communities, queer reinventions of Jewish rituals and the needs of transgender students. LGBTQ-identified Jewish students contributed testimonials.Our Jewish institutions – as a whole – are known for being slow to transform our values (that we ALL are created b’tzelem Elohim, in God’s image) into access and acceptance. There often is a gulf between our stated desire to be welcoming and the actions that make a community welcoming.

Our own Congregation Or Ami, having written a series of webpages under the title “No One is More Welcomed at Or Ami than You!” that express our values of welcoming and, as action to back it up, offer direct access by personal email to the rabbi as a reality check, will soon unveil our own webpage for LGBT Jews and Jewish couples and families. Overdue, yes. Significant, absolutely.

Mazel tov to Hillel for its work.

Wisdom for the (Secular) New Year

  1. (After the New Year’s balloon my wife bought flew off into the sky, we again realized 🙂 We cannot control the year ahead. We can only be mindful as we respond to whatever life brings our way.
  2. As you plan your party (or your life), anything can happen. So plan in enough flexibility for the unexpected:
    1. When guests don’t show up on time
    2. When you lack certain ingredients to spice up your dish
    3. When the cork breaks leaving half still in the bottle.
  3. Guitar Hero 3 makes any gathering a happening party!
  4. Leftovers can be beautiful… or at least, will be beautiful for days to come.

Two Incredible LGBT Inclusion Resources

I am working to create the next page in our “No One is More Welcomed at Or Ami than You!” webpage series (see our multicultural, interfaith and special needs webpages). In researching resources for LGBT Jews and their families, I finally took the time to serious peruse the websites of the Institute for Judaism and Sexual Orientation (IJSO) and the Jeff Herman Virtual Resource Center (JHVRC), both affiliated with Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion. I am quite frankly amazed and proud that these two resources are available through our Reform Jewish movement.

The Jeff Herman Virtual Resource Center for Sexual Orientation Issues in the Jewish Community is a web-based educational environment for all those interested in learning about Judaism, Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity. It contains the largest online gathering of articles, texts, and websites on Judaism and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender topics in the world. The JHVRC also features answers to Frequently Asked Questions, case studies exploring how issues of sexual orientation might be discussed in a Jewish context, and guides for studying biblical and rabbinic text.

The mission of the Institute for Judaism and Sexual Orientation is driven by Jewish religious values and the spiritual quest for holiness. The Institute for Judaism and Sexual Orientation seeks:

  • To achieve complete inclusion, integration and welcoming of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in congregations and communities.
  • To train and empower Jewish professionals, educate students, and support scholars and researchers in their quest to develop a theology and practice of inclusion.
  • To encourage dialogue between constituent organizations within the Reform movement on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender topics.
  • To foster collaboration with community based educational and social service organizations to further our mission.
  • To grow the Jeff Herman Virtual Resource Center (JHVRC) and develop new resources including a focus on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender liturgy and ritual.
  • To organize workshops and academic conferences and develop curriculum modules to be implemented within the HUC-JIR academic program.

I look forward to utilizing these resources as we become even more inclusive.

New Survey Data Sparks New Debate over Intermarriage Picture

It is too early in the morning to analyze the significance of these new studies on intermarriage, but they are sure to cause a stir… and give our Jewish community plenty to consider.

JTA (12/28/07) offers this article: Survey data spark debate over intermarriage picture.

Now a new round of studies is prompting more questions: Does intermarriage necessarily mean the end of that family’s connection to Judaism? Or is the Jewish community focusing on intermarriage to the exclusion of other, perhaps more telling, factors?

Most studies report the data in simple comparative fashion, which shows that intermarried families are much less Jewishly involved than inmarried families, from their beliefs to their practices.

But a provocative new study out of Brandeis University questions that research method and its conclusions.

The study — “It’s Not Just Who Stands Under the Chuppah: Jewish Identity and Intermarriage,” by Leonard Saxe, Fern Chertok and Benjamin Phillips of the Cohen Center for Jewish Studies and Steinhardt Social Research Institute — found that when one considers the Jewish background of the Jewish partner in an intermarriage, the difference in the Jewish beliefs and practices of inmarried and intermarried families becomes much less glaring.

Equally compelling is the “second generation” statistic:,

Among those who is not convinced by the Saxe-Chertok line of argument is Steven Cohen, a professor of Jewish social policy at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in New York. Cohen has conducted several studies that all show the determinative effect of intermarriage.

Cohen’s first question is how the researchers defined “being raised Jewish.” But he also says they need to look at the second generation: According to the 2000-2001 NJPS study, just 13 percent of the grandchildren of an intermarriage — that is, people whose grandparents were intermarried — now identify as Jews.

On those grounds alone, Cohen declared, the Jewish community should “not grow complacent” about intermarriage but should continue to combat it as a real threat to Jewish continuity.

Look for some sharp arguments about all this data, its meaning, and how to respond…

“Happiness is Real only When Shared”, Alexander Supertramp

Last night, we watched Into the Wild, Sean Penn’s beautiful movie. Writes Rolling Stone:

Sean Penn has molded one of the best movies of a bustling fall out of Jon Krakauer’s best-selling Into the Wild. Krakauer told the true story of Chris McCandless, an honors grad from Emory University who walked into the Alaskan wilderness in 1992 to find himself outside the confines of estranged family, well-meaning friends and any governing impulse besides his own questing heart. If you read the book and pegged Chris as a wacko narcissist who died out of arrogance and stupidity, then Penn’s film version is not for you. If, like Penn, you mourn Chris’ tragedy and his judgment errors but also exult in his journey and its spirit of moral inquiry, then this beautiful, wrenching film will take a piece out of you.

Among other things, it is a beautiful meditation which juxtaposes the impulse for solitude with the human need for companionship. The conflict is one with which most of us can identify. Critic Roger Ebert captures it nicely:

For those who have read Thoreau’s Walden, there comes a time, maybe only lasting a few hours or a day, when the notion of living alone in a tiny cabin beside a pond and planting some beans seems strangely seductive.

For the Jew, character Alexander Supertramp (nee real life person Chris McCandless) resolves the apparent conflict as he concludes “Happiness is real only when shared.” Our rabbinic teachers came to a similar conclusion, Al tifrosh min hatzibur – do not separate yourself from the community. Whether with simcha (joy) or tsuris (sadness/problems), the community provides us with the means to heighten the joy or handle the adversity.

The communal impulse that Alexander Supertramp discovered, Congregation Or Ami enshrines: Happiness is real only when shared. Our (new, yet still in process) vision statement begins: At Or Ami people matter… We recognize the need and purpose of community. Our core values capture this impulse for companionship. We list among them:

  • Joy/Simcha: We celebrate life through word and song because we believe that life is filled with blessing.
  • Caring Community/Henaynu (we are here): We endeavor to be there for people through their joyous moments and their sad times.

Enough. Into the Wild is a great movie. Go see it.

We are Noah: Charged with Destroying the World and Tasked with Saving It

It is humbling when a normally staid journalist, a critic of those who use religion for their own purposes, begins to quote the Bible. But that’s just what Thomas Friedman did in his article, In the Age of Noah (NYTimes, 12/23/63):

It struck me as I read that story that our generation has entered a phase that no previous generation has ever experienced: the Noah phase. With more and more species threatened with extinction by The Flood that is today’s global economic juggernaut, we may be the first generation in human history that literally has to act like Noah — to save the last pairs of a wide range of species.

Or as God commanded Noah in Genesis: “And of every living thing of all flesh, you shall bring two of every sort into the ark, to keep them alive with you; they shall be male and female.”

Friedman had just finished making a poignant comparison with Noah’s work in the Torah:

A couple of weeks ago, The Times’s Jim Yardley reported from China that the world’s last known female Yangtze giant soft-shell turtle was living in one Chinese zoo, while the planet’s only undisputed, known giant soft-shell male turtle was living in another — and together this aging pair were the last hope of saving a species believed to be the largest freshwater turtles in the world.

So here we are: We may be the first generation in human history that literally has to act like Noah — to save the last pairs of a wide range of species that are threatened with extinction. What are you going to do about it?

Jews, Chinese Food, Movies and Christmas

Catch this video which says it all. I found it on another blog, I am a Liberal Jew and I am Pissed.

I love it when Chanukah comes early. We get our holiday with less of the craziness and commercialization than if it arrived around the same time as that “other holiday.”

Why do Jews go to movies on Christmas and eat Chinese food? Since the Chinese in general did not celebrate Christmas back in the day, their restaurants were open. Thus our non-holiday meal. Why movies? What else is there to do?

What will I be doing this Christmas? Movies definitely. We might substitute Thai food however for the Chinese food…

Birthday Blessings: I Turned 44 Today!

It’s my birthday today. 44 years old. Great day so far.

My birthday started with dinner last night at Fins with my wife. She is great (and looked great). The bottle of wine, Markham Cabernet Savignon 2002 was perfect (we took the time to have it aerated!). Dinner was delicious. We knew we were getting older when the little kids kvetching at the table in the corner drove us crazy.

The kids woke me up early with the traditional Daddy Paul birthday breakfast: home baked chocolate chip cookie sandwiches filled with Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream. Delicious! It recalls the Ice Cream Sundae lunches I shared with my family at Kimball’s Ice Cream (farm) in Chelmsford, MA.

Next followed a few killer rounds of Guitar Hero 3. I can be pretty good at it on the easier level. I get to live out my fantasy of being a Rock Star. (Never really had one of those but…) And who would have thought that my kids would love listening to hard rock (the only songs you can play along with in GH3)?Then I took a long walk with one of my boys. We had great talks about everything and nothing. He kept asking questions. I kept finding semi-intelligent responses. At times like these I feel competent as a parent. Just one on one time was precious.
It’s my birthday today. 44 years old. Great day so far.

My birthday started with dinner last night at Fins with my wife. She is great (and looked great). The bottle of wine, Markham Cabernet Savignon 2002 was perfect (we took the time to have it aerated!). Dinner was delicious. We knew we were getting older when the little kids kvetching at the table in the corner drove us crazy.The kids woke me up early with the traditional Daddy Paul birthday breakfast: home baked chocolate chip cookie sandwiches filled with Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream. Delicious! It recalls the Ice Cream Sundae lunches I shared with my family at Kimball’s Ice Cream (farm) in Chelmsford, MA.
Then came the big mid-day Birthday trip. I put on one of my best suits, tie and all. Got into my car for a ride out of the Valley toward the Westside. (The Westside of LA is one of the hip parts of the City.) ‘Course, then I continued my way farther south, turned off the 405 at Howard Hughes Parkway, and turned into Hillside Mortuary and Memorial Park to officiate at a 1:00 pm funeral. Such is the life of a rabbi.
Fortunately, the deceased lived a long life, had a romance that supposedly rivaled the movies, found her way through tragedy to happiness. Still, nothing like a reminder of our human mortality to put in perspective any worry about getting older. Counting blessings…
In truth, though, even life has its challenges, I can honestly say that, as the years go by, life today – at 44 – is better than it was at 42, which was better than 38, which was better even than 22. I have a great family, with children who are thoughtful, intelligent, mostly nice to each other and to their parents. Wonderful, beautiful wife whom I love even more than I did when I married her. Healthy parents and siblings. Fantastic Jewish community to work with. Oh, and a loaded computer. And solid, though aging Blackberry. What more could I want? (Maybe the new blackberry or iPhone… or that cool Sony eBook Reader that I think I am going to buy myself soon).
My Rabbi buddy Ron Stern of Stephen S. Wise Temple had a funeral 2 hours later, so we decided to meet up in between. We planned to grab a drink at Starbucks, but Nordstroms’ holiday sale was on. So went shopping. Now there’s the beginning of a good joke:
Two rabbis, on their way to a funeral, stop by the local department store. One says to the other…
Tonight, we’re having dinner as a family. Now that’s a perfect birthday!

Ima on (and off) the Bima: New (sometimes) Blogging Buddy

My new (sometimes) blogging buddy, Ima on (and off) the Bima, was also at the URJ Biennial convention. Though we failed to actually link up in person, we passed blog comments and emails throughout the convention. Right now, this sort-of internet pal is freezing her tuchis off in Chicago, while mine’s just soaking wet in Calabasas.

She has set of cool blogs – Ima on (and off) the Bimah and Thoughts from Rabbi Phyllis. In fact, I added some features to my blog which I copied from hers.

I loved her recent post, 13 Random Things I’ve Learned So Far at the Biennial. Check it out!

Israeli Research into Treating Parkinson’s Makes Scientific American’s Top 50 Breakthroughs

Following Michael J. Fox’s poignant speech to the URJ Biennial regarding research with Stem Cells, it was rewarding to read in Israeli newspaper Ha’aretz (12/18/07) that:

Israeli research among ’50 most significant scientific breakthroughs in 2007′

A groundbreaking discovery in the field of artificial intelligence, conducted by two Tel Aviv University academics, and Israeli research into treating Parkinson’s disease, have been selected as among the past year’s greatest advancements in science by a top U.S. periodical. Scientific American magazine placed Professor Eshel Ben-Jacob and Dr. Itay Baruchi’s creation of a type of organic memory chip on its list of the year’s 50 most significant scientific discoveries.

Treatment for Seasonal Affective Disorder Takes a Page from Chanukah

I recently learned that a relative has Seasonal Affective Disorder, SAD for short. Like others effected by SAD, this relative is profoundly changed as the seasons change. Her moods, her energy, and her concentration are dampened as the weather darkens. I laughed as I heard this, sharing that I prefer it out here in California because the the days of overcast skies are fewer and farther between.

Here comes the New York Times (12/18/07) article, Brought on by Darkness, Disorder Needs Light (By RICHARD A. FRIEDMAN, M.D.), which argues that More than winter blahs, seasonal depression is recognized and treatable.
The article notes that: Researchers have noted a similarity between SAD symptoms and seasonal changes in other mammals, particularly those that sensibly pass the dark winter hibernating in a warm hole. Animals have brain circuits that sense day length and control the timing of seasonal behavior. Do humans do the same? In 2001, Dr. Thomas A. Wehr and Dr. Norman E. Rosenthal, psychiatrists at the National Institute of Mental Health, ran an intriguing experiment. They studied two patient groups for 24 hours in winter and summer, one group with seasonal depression and one without. A major biological signal tracking seasonal sunlight changes is melatonin, a brain chemical turned on by darkness and off by light. Dr. Wehr and Dr. Rosenthal found that the patients with seasonal depression had a longer duration of nocturnal melatonin secretion in the winter than in the summer, just as with other mammals with seasonal behavior.

So what do they suggest? Bright lights. Here’s what’s fascinating to me: We Jews figured that out a long time ago. At the darkest times of the year, the winter solistice, Jews celebrate Chanukah. Our rabbis, in their brilliance, told us that in the dark darkness, we Jews should light lights, increasing the lights evening by evening. Where darkness and overcast skies bring depression, Chanukah brings hope. Score one for the rabbis!

Heart Soaring and Head Spinning. The Biennial Closes

The Biennial wrapping up. My head is spinning even as my heart is soaring. Heart soaring because, with my family and dear members of our Or Ami congregational family, we experienced two very moving Shabbat services filled with uplifting Shabbat music and inspiring leadership. Heart soaring because of the incredible music of Doug Cotler, Julie Silver, Joe Black, Josh Nelson, and others (ask me about the Gospel Shabbat by a black Jewish group).

My head is spinning because being at this extended weekend convention was like walking along a never-ending shmorgasbord of synagogue/Jewish/community/ritual/social justice/educational/Shabbat/youth side dishes. Each is a meal of opportunities to deepen personal Jewish spirituality and meaningful synagogue life. How do we digest this, prioritize the ideas and initiatives and move forward? (I am guessing that the Biennial delegates with gather this week to consider and prioritize our ideas.)

Rabbi Eric Yoffie, president of the URJ, spoke Shabbat morning about the need for deeper Shabbat celebration, about a State by State Health Care initiative, and about creating a new Muslim-Jewish dialogue between moderate Jews and moderate Muslims. You can read Rabbi Yoffie’s sermon here.

So much learned, so much to do, so glad to be part of a Congregation Or Ami which is part of this larger, morally-focused, creative movement called the Union for Reform Judaism!

Just Congregations: A New Old Way of Changing the World

I’m sitting in a session on Just Congregations, a social justice project that is focused around one on one conversations between individuals. When you and I begin to talk about what concerns us, what keeps us up at night, and then we talk to two others, and so on and so on, certain community-wide burning issues rise up. Soon, we begin to realize that a large group is ready to take action, to make a move that changes the community beyond Or Ami. Now imagine if you connected the one on one conversations of one congregation with those of another. All of a sudden, we realize that people of different faiths share concerns. Imagine how we might change the world. Susan Gould and I were transfixed by this process. Does this interest anyone? If so, let’s talk about helping make this happen. Email me.

Michael J. Fox on Parkinson’s, Stem Cell Research and His Reform Jewish Family

Michael J. Fox, upon receiving the Maurice N. Eisendrath Bearer of Light Award, spoke about his own journey with Parkinson’s disease, about creating his foundation, and about how it is so difficult to move scientific research from an idea toward a cure.

Words of wisdom from Mr. Fox:

On Parkinson’s disease: It’s a gift. (On reflection he said) It’s a gift that keeps on taking.

If you contemplate the worst case scenario and it happens, you have lived it twice.

God gave us hands and feet and brains. We need to use them.

Some suggest that Stem Cell research must not occur because embryos are life. Jews think differently. We believe that life begins after the fetus leaves the body. According to Judaism, an embryo is not a fetus. It is not life. Judaism supports stem cell research. Jews believe that the government should not limit Stem Cell research, even on embryos.

Read more about Michael J. Fox’s life and work here.