Tag: Diversity

The Bible has Nothing to Say about Gay Marriage

Someone in the mainstream press finally said it out loud: Contrary to what conservative preachers would like us to believe, the Bible has nothing to say about gay marriage, and very little (positive) to say about marriage in general. Newsweek comes along with a blazing article – speaking truth to power – about the hypocracy and falsehoods being spread about what the Bible does and does not say about marriage. And why opponents of marriage equality scarcely have a leg on which to stand.

Entitled GAY MARRIAGE: Our Mutual Joy, the article notes that opponents of gay marriage often cite Scripture. But what the Bible teaches about love argues for the other side.

Let’s try for a minute to take the religious conservatives at their word and define marriage as the Bible does. Shall we look to Abraham, the great patriarch, who slept with his servant when he discovered his beloved wife Sarah was infertile? Or to Jacob, who fathered children with four different women (two sisters and their servants)? Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon and the kings of Judah and Israel—all these fathers and heroes were polygamists. The New Testament model of marriage is hardly better. Jesus himself was single and preached an indifference to earthly attachments—especially family. The apostle Paul (also single) regarded marriage as an act of last resort for those unable to contain their animal lust. “It is better to marry than to burn with passion,” says the apostle, in one of the most lukewarm endorsements of a treasured institution ever uttered. Would any contemporary heterosexual married couple—who likely woke up on their wedding day harboring some optimistic and newfangled ideas about gender equality and romantic love—turn to the Bible as a how-to script?

We read on:

In the Old Testament, the concept of family is fundamental, but examples of what social conservatives would call “the traditional family” are scarcely to be found. Marriage was critical to the passing along of tradition and history, as well as to maintaining the Jews’ precious and fragile monotheism. But as the Barnard University Bible scholar Alan Segal puts it, the arrangement was between “one man and as many women as he could pay for.” Social conservatives point to Adam and Eve as evidence for their one man, one woman argument—in particular, this verse from Genesis: “Therefore shall a man leave his mother and father, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.” But as Segal says, if you believe that the Bible was written by men and not handed down in its leather bindings by God, then that verse was written by people for whom polygamy was the way of the world. (The fact that homosexual couples cannot procreate has also been raised as a biblical objection, for didn’t God say, “Be fruitful and multiply”? But the Bible authors could never have imagined the brave new world of international adoption and assisted reproductive technology—and besides, heterosexuals who are infertile or past the age of reproducing get married all the time.)

One correction: the author claims that most Jewish denominations do so publically support gay/lesbian marriage. Not true. The Reform Movement has done so here and here. The Reconstructionist Movement has done so. Some within the Conservative movement have begun to do so.

More on my take on marriage equality and LGBT issues in general here and from our Congregation Or Ami here.

A Jew Dare Not Live with Absolute Certainty

Rabbi Emmanuel Rackman, past Chancellor of New York’s Yeshiva University and President Emeritus of Bar Ilan University in Israel, died in early December, 2008, at age 98. Rabbi Rackman was also the spiritual leader of the prominent Fifth Avenue Synagogue in Manhattan and an outspoken advocate of a more inclusive, intellectually open Orthodox Judaism.

What I know about Rabbi Rackman impressed me so. One colleague said that his great strength – particularly in a Jewish world that is increasingly polarized – was his assertion that Jewish pluralism was a Torah-True perspective even for the Orthodox. Here is a quote from a 1966 article:

Perhaps, like Socrates, I corrupt youth, but I teach that Judaism encourages doubt, even as it enjoins faith and commitment. A Jew dare not live with absolute certainty not only because certainty is the hallmark of the fanatic and Judaism abhors fanaticism, but also because doubt is good for the human soul, its humility, and consequently its greater potential ultimately to discover its Creator.

May his memory be for a blessing.

My Take on California’s Prop 8

Some years ago, I wrote an article for our Divray Or Ami supporting Marriage Equality. In it, I argued that

We, the people who recall the words of our sacred Scriptures – You shall not oppress a stranger, for you know the feelings of a stranger, having yourselves been strangers in the land of Egypt (Exodus 23:9) – seek to do justice. We, people of faith who try to love mercy, defend vigorously the dignity of every human being, consistent with the principle that each of us is created in the Divine image (Genesis 1:27). While we respect those who may be single, we uphold the values of marriage and family. Marriage, imbued with the values of exclusivity, permanence, intimate companionship, and love, provides fulfillment for each partner and adds to the common good of the community. Thus, in an attempt to walk humbly with our God, we affirm that every human being has an absolute right to such fulfillment, and that the loving, committed relationships of same-sex couples have the same potential for kedusha (holiness) as those of heterosexual couples. Read more.

Huge numbers of religious leaders from all faiths signed onto an AN OPEN LETTER TO RELIGIOUS LEADERS ON MARRIAGE EQUALITY.

A majority of California Rabbis have signed a letter opposing Proposition 8. Why? Watch this video.

In line with our Jewish tradition that recognizes that everyone was born b’tzelem Elohim (in God’s image), we work to ensure that gay and lesbian couples do not face discrimination by laws which forbid marriage equality.

URJ and RAC Celebrate Justice for California Gay Community

WASHINGTON, May 15, 2008 – In response to today’s ruling by the California Supreme Judicial Court declaring the state’s ban on gay marriage unconstitutional, Mark J. Pelavin, Associate Director of the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism, and Rabbi Alan Henkin, Regional Director of the Union for Reform Judaism’s Pacific Southwest Council, issued the following statement:

Today’s ruling is a landmark step toward ensuring the right of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans to share in the joys and privileges of marriage that have long been afforded to heterosexual couples. As the Court rightly noted, “An individual’s capacity to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with another person and responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual’s sexual orientation,” and that “an individual’s sexual orientation – like a person’s race or gender – does not constitute a legitimate basis upon which to deny or withhold legal rights.”

Much like the 2003 decision of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court, today’s ruling serves as affirmation that we cannot allow our nation to continue to divide into separate and decidedly unequal groups: those adults who are free to express their love for one another in marriage and those who are not.

The Reform Jewish Movement has long been committed to welcoming GLBT Jews into our congregations, synagogues and communal life and strongly supports legislative efforts to provide equal opportunity through civil marriage for gay and lesbian individuals. As we teach our children, all individuals are created b’tselem elohim, in the image of the Divine; today’s ruling reflects that concept of inherent equality.

This is a historic day, a day to celebrate. Tomorrow, however, is the day to begin organizing against the all-but-inevitable initiatives to amend the state’s constitution to ban same-sex marriage equality. As soon as we finish today’s victory toast, we are ready to roll up our sleeves and get to work.

—

The Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism is the Washington office of the Union for Reform Judaism, whose more than 900 congregations across North America encompass 1.5 million Reform Jews, and the Central Conference of American Rabbis, whose membership includes more than 1800 Reform rabbis.

California Ends Gay and Lesbian Couples’ Exclusion from Marriage


We celebrate the news that California Ends Gay Couples’ Exclusion From Marriage.

Earlier today, the California Supreme Court handed down a historic decision upholding the freedom to marry in In Re: Marriage Cases. California’s high court is the second state high court to rule in favor of ending the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage. (My home state of Massachusetts ruled over 4 years ago.)

With this ruling, our country has the opportunity to continue seeing how families are helped and no one is hurt by ending exclusion from marriage, just as other countries around the world have done.

Jewish tradition, which recognizes that all people were born b’tzelem Elohim (in the image of God), has a long supported the blessing and sanctification of marriages between two mature, monogamous, consenting adults, whatever their gender. Reform Rabbis voted in 1996 to support marriages between gay or lesbian Jewish couples and voted in 2000 to support rabbinic officiation at such unions. Now the State of California has recognized the validity and sanctity of such unions!

Mazel tov to all who worked for this day!

Co-Existence in Haifa; Spirituality in Tzefat

Monday, January 28, 2008 – 2:40 a.m. Tel Aviv time

Too much excitement sometimes leads to too little sleep. Luckily we travel today for two hours by bus to the Dead Sea so I can use that time for some (eventually) much needed shut eye.

I spent the past hour racing through the New York Times bestseller Three Cups of Tea, a book by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin about “one man’s mission to promote peace… one school at a time.” A gift of my brother-in-law Jeff who made two motivating comments about it – that it inspired him, and that the purchase sent money to a charity – the book is about selfless Tikun Olam (fixing of the world). The author Mortensen, a mountaineer who turned the aftermath of a failed experience trying to climb Pakistan’s K2 mountain into a mission that built fifty-five schools in the forbidding terrain of Pakistan’s boarder areas, is just that … inspiring. So fitting too, since today’s touring in Israel’s north opened our eyes to many non-Jewish members of Israel’s population and highlighted some poignant projects dedicated to coexistence between Israeli Arabs and Jews.

We found ourselves at Haifa’s Bajai Temple, home to a newer religion (few hundred years old). At once imposing yet serene, the Temple, surrounded by terraces of lush gardens, towers over the heights of Haifa. Where one might have expected a certain intolerance of yet another religious group claiming a sizable parcel within the Holy Land, we find instead an appreciation for the serenity of the site and a pride of hospitality. Haifa, a city with which I am only partially familiar, finds great meaning in its mostly successful quest to retain a certain healthy co-existence between its residents.

We met with Shaul ??, leader of Project TRIUMPH, which brings together teenagers – Jews, Muslims and Christians – for open discussion, leadership training, and development (by the teens) of co-existence projects. Or Ami congregant (and my executive coach) Steve Keleman became involved with this project, offering his volunteer services to teach the teens during their trip to California last year. Steve said “go and learn” so we did. Project TRIUMPH website features a poignant video about their work. It is exciting and important work. Shaul’s comment that they have learned to use music to begin connecting the teenagers’ parents up with one another resonated with many of our Or Ami group (we who believe that “music speaks louder than words”). We adults, so caught up in our own stories about rights and wrongs, sometimes miss opportunities to bring about coexistence. If “music can tame the heart of the beast,” Shaul and his partners are domesticating the wild hurt and anger to bring about a meeting of the hearts (and hopefully, minds).
http://projecttriumph.org/

Our exploration of Haifa continued with a walking tour of the work of Beit Hagefen, a coexistence organization that brings together Haifa’s various populations to create art. We walked down Derech HaShirim, a Walk of Songs, along which hung the lyrics of poems by Arab and Jewish teams. We marveled at the thought-provoking sculptures, paintings and installations integrated into the very walls of the walkways of Haifa’s neighborhoods. Most poignant were two works by a single author. The first consisted of a wall-sized picture of two boys, ensconced in a warm, flower-adorned frame. We later learn that the boy on the left was the Arab artist’s son by her first marriage to a Jewish man. We learn that this first husband tragically died. The boy on the right was the same artist’s second child, from her subsequent marriage to an Arab man. The artist’s two children, apparently happy siblings, offer a touching lesson on multiple levels: that Jews and Arabs are brothers, that if her children can co-exist then Jews and Arabs can also, that political barriers break down when binding relationships are formed.

Her second installation was equally affecting. Imagine a gated doorway, locked and seemingly abandoned. Graffiti spray-painted alongside it declares mishehu gar sham pa’am, someone once lived here. An enlarged key by the door suggests that the owner who left intended to return. The installation is located in an Arab neighborhood. Is the author raising questions about the plight of the people, probably Arab, who once lived in this house? Is her intent to declare her concern for their current well-being or to invite (force) us to confront the reality that even in the city of coexistence, all is not perfect? Perhaps she is wading into the recent ongoing skirmishes for historical memory being waged over the last decade between multiple narratives about the birth of Israel and the creation of the Palestinian refugees. The anonymity of its former occupants – mishehu – simultaneously shields us from the voyeuristic nature of “victim stories” even as it plunges us into gut-wrenching speculation about the “anonymous other”. Combined with Project TRIUMPH’s recent appreciation for the power of music, the work of Beit Hagefen reminds us that through art, we can burrow under the barriers we all have to inspire openness and truth telling.

A final note. Each year, Beit Hagafen directs its artist participants to focus on a certain theme. One year, they picked coffee. Like breaking bread, sharing a cup of coffee with someone else (or tea, for those who like me to imbibe the brown elixir) invites a sharing of much more – background, stories, family, hopes and dreams. Looking up at the oversized cup of steaming hot Joe adorning a busy thoroughfare, I realized just how brilliant these co-existence projects can be.

I should write about the lunch we had in the home of a Druze man. Heaping plates of spiced chicken, sweet rice with lamb, mini grape leaves, rolled cabbage, and the Mideast mainstay of humus and pita covered some folding tables. Following his family’s warm hospitality (and seconds on the lunch), we listened as he described the essence of his Druze life and their connection to the lands in which they live.

I should tell you about our experience in Tzefat (a.k.a. Tzfat, Tsfat or Safed), visiting the synagogue of the AR”I (Rabbi Isaac Lurie, one of the great Kabbalists), marveling at the craft of candlemaking at the Safed Candle store, meandering through the artist colony… It was calmer than I last remembered (perhaps because we had three tired but shopping-focused children with us on the previous visit). But also, the choosh, the atmosphere or flavor, of the town was open, light and airy. Of special joy was the opportunity, with the help of my sneaky shopping substitute Patti Jo Wolfson, to surprise Michelle with a gift of a chamsa (which Michelle favored but couldn’t decide whether to buy). I love Northern Israel, with its wide open spaces, lush greenery, mystical quality. Learning Tzefat boasts nice hotel and a plethora of bed and breakfasts, I made a note to make an extended visit during my next sabbatical. Mental note #2: it is time for Or Ami to bring in a significant, serious teacher of Kabbalah to educate and inspire about this growing Jewish mystical movement.

I should describe the delicious dinner we shared in Beit Hayeker (?), a winery in Rishon Letziyon. In our side room, long wooden butcher block tables were adorned with plates of salads, fresh greens, and refreshing orange and lemonade juices. The atmosphere was warm and welcoming, the wine was tasty, the food delicious (Michelle and I raved over shared dishes of grilled salmon and the pesto ravioli, each served with divine sauces). We enjoyed relaxing conversation with our tablemates the Ellis’, Krasnoffs, Susan Gould and Bella Kaplan. Between courses, Michelle and I snuck off for a private wine-tasting where we enjoyed the reserve Cabernet Savignon and played with the sweet muscat. While departing, I noticed a map of Israel’s wine country (the Golan purportedly boasts a collection of boutique wineries. Mental note #3 (during sabbatical 2009): wine tasting our way through Israel’s northern wineries is a must.

Well, its 4:07 am. Tomorrow is going to be brutal if I don’t get any sleep. A peak out our eighth floor window at the Tel Aviv coastline and the road that lines it shows that few are awake in this part of Israel’s city that never sleeps. If only I was among the many who slumber. I suppose that since Michelle unintentionally kept watch over the wee hours of the morning yesterday, chivalry dictated that I take my turn. I only hope I can be as gracious under exhaustion as she! Laila tov (goodnight) for the next two hours…

Hillel Grows Up: Helping GBLTQ Students

This from the Jewish Forward (12/26/07).

Hillel, the Foundation which works with Jewish college students on campuses around the country, is growing up. Recognizing that lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (and queer and question) Jewish students exist and need Jewish support and services on college campuses,
Last week, Hillel’s president announced the completion of a guide that aims to help its staff members welcome “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning” students. The 186-page resource was written and edited by a largely gay-and-lesbian-identified group of Hillel professionals, several of whom have been discreetly meeting for years…
“I think what we’re dealing with in Hillel is well-intentioned professionals who want to be welcoming to all Jewish students,” said the guide’s editor, D’ror Chankin-Gould, in an interview with the Forward. “[Now we have] the resources to educate well-intentioned people in how to do better.” The guide, which was distributed to staff members at a Hillel conference and discussed at a workshop, includes chapters on coming out in Jewish communities, queer reinventions of Jewish rituals and the needs of transgender students. LGBTQ-identified Jewish students contributed testimonials.Our Jewish institutions – as a whole – are known for being slow to transform our values (that we ALL are created b’tzelem Elohim, in God’s image) into access and acceptance. There often is a gulf between our stated desire to be welcoming and the actions that make a community welcoming.

Our own Congregation Or Ami, having written a series of webpages under the title “No One is More Welcomed at Or Ami than You!” that express our values of welcoming and, as action to back it up, offer direct access by personal email to the rabbi as a reality check, will soon unveil our own webpage for LGBT Jews and Jewish couples and families. Overdue, yes. Significant, absolutely.

Mazel tov to Hillel for its work.

Two Incredible LGBT Inclusion Resources

I am working to create the next page in our “No One is More Welcomed at Or Ami than You!” webpage series (see our multicultural, interfaith and special needs webpages). In researching resources for LGBT Jews and their families, I finally took the time to serious peruse the websites of the Institute for Judaism and Sexual Orientation (IJSO) and the Jeff Herman Virtual Resource Center (JHVRC), both affiliated with Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion. I am quite frankly amazed and proud that these two resources are available through our Reform Jewish movement.

The Jeff Herman Virtual Resource Center for Sexual Orientation Issues in the Jewish Community is a web-based educational environment for all those interested in learning about Judaism, Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity. It contains the largest online gathering of articles, texts, and websites on Judaism and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender topics in the world. The JHVRC also features answers to Frequently Asked Questions, case studies exploring how issues of sexual orientation might be discussed in a Jewish context, and guides for studying biblical and rabbinic text.

The mission of the Institute for Judaism and Sexual Orientation is driven by Jewish religious values and the spiritual quest for holiness. The Institute for Judaism and Sexual Orientation seeks:

  • To achieve complete inclusion, integration and welcoming of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in congregations and communities.
  • To train and empower Jewish professionals, educate students, and support scholars and researchers in their quest to develop a theology and practice of inclusion.
  • To encourage dialogue between constituent organizations within the Reform movement on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender topics.
  • To foster collaboration with community based educational and social service organizations to further our mission.
  • To grow the Jeff Herman Virtual Resource Center (JHVRC) and develop new resources including a focus on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender liturgy and ritual.
  • To organize workshops and academic conferences and develop curriculum modules to be implemented within the HUC-JIR academic program.

I look forward to utilizing these resources as we become even more inclusive.

Orthodox Paradox: A Reflections on Boundaries, Danger and Possibilities

I just read an interesting article in the New York Times Magazine by Noah Feldman, Harvard Law School professor, called, Orthodox Paradox (Published: July 22, 2007). Summed up, it describes “The 12 years I spent at a yeshiva day school made me who I am. Now the school doesn’t acknowledge who I’ve become. A reflection on religion, identity and belonging.”

I see it as a fascinating reflection on the boundaries set by “traditional” religious groups, the dangers inherent in these, and the possibilities of merging serious religious living with modernity. Check it out.

Leaning Right and Leaning Left: Jewish Bifurcation on How to Best Support Israel

I’m a card carrying member of AIPAC because no one mobilizes the support of Congress and the Administration in support of Israel like AIPAC does. I believe Israel needs to have friends on both sides of the political aisle, and AIPAC does just that. I will always be a supporter of AIPAC for just that reason.

But in my bifurcated Jewish existence, simultaneously, I am a supporter of Rabbis for Human Rights and other pro-Israel left leaning groups, because I worry that sometimes (often?) AIPAC leans too far to the right. I want a strong Israel, but I want an Israel that is encouraged and supported as it continually seeks out partners in conversation about peace. Sometimes, I worry as to whether some organizations can really do that.

So I was encouraged to read in the Jewish Forward that “Dovish Groups Mull Mega-Merger In Bid To Build Peace Powerhouse.” It seems that leaders of Americans for Peace Now, the Israel Policy Forum and Brit Tzedek v’Shalom, three leading dovish Israel advocacy groups, are in discussions that proponents hope will produce a new mega-organization with greater political clout and more money to push for a two-state solution. This too is good.

Why? According to the Forward, the issue of serving as a dovish balance to Aipac is discussed frequently. One activist involved in the initiative spoke of the need to send Congress a message that “there are other voices in the community” and that lawmakers “don’t have to automatically support unnecessary resolutions” about Israel. Another activist said that many in the Jewish community “are dying” to present an alternative to Aipac on issues relating to the Israeli-Palestinian peace process. At the same time, all those involved stressed their strong appreciation for Aipac’s role in supporting and strengthening Israel. They made clear that the new group — if and when created — would not aim to challenge or replace Aipac as the leading pro-Israel lobby.

Many will decry the prospects of splitting a clear voice and hard line on Israel. Always a proponent for diversity, I welcome this bifurcation. Let a multiplicity of good voices be heard; let dissent be considered seriously. Eilu v’eilu divray Elohim chayim – both this and that are the words of the Living God!

Communicating Openness: We Welcome Families with Special Needs

We know that Congregation Or Ami is a community that really “gets it” with regards to families with children with special needs. The families that are part of the synagogue – enjoying the B’nai Mitzvah we have crafted for children with all sorts of special needs, thriving in our Mishpacha program because its coordinator contact each special needs family before each session, and growing in the warmth of our Support Group for Parents of children with special needs – they know we “get it” too! But how do we communicate this to people in the greater community?

We are so excited to post our new webpage for Families with Special Needs. Filled with perspectives, policies, and personal reflections, we hope it will be inviting and encouraging! (And it was fun to create too!)

So check out our new webpage for Families with Special Needs.

Calabasas Boy Overcomes Serious Disabilities to Become a Bar Mitzvah (Acorn, 5/24/07)

The local weekly, The Acorn, tells us about one of the more emotional events at Or Ami, the upcoming Bar Mitzvah service of Brandon Kaplan. Brandon cannot write or speak, but he understands Judaism and loves Torah. And on Shabbat this Memorial Day Weekend, he becomes a Bar Mitzvah. I suspect there will not be a “dry eye in the house.”

But lest we think otherwise, B’nai Mitzvah for kids with special needs is not out of the ordinary, at least at Congregation Or Ami:

[Rabbi Paul] Kipnes emphasized that no matter what a child’s needs are, it’s never a question of if a child can have a bar or bat mitzvah- it’s when the ceremony will take place.

“There are two values being played out, simultaneously,” Kipnes said. “Brandon is a kid like any other kid created in the image of God, worthy of love.

“But Brandon is also a special kid and there is an honor and joy to the congregation that he participates to the fullness of his abilities. So he’s normal and special, but here’s the secret: so is every other kid.”

Congregation Or Ami has programs geared toward helping families with special needs children. One major program involved a coordinator calling all appropriate families to prepare them for the program or find ways to change it to make it work for them, Kipnes said.
Or Ami also has a support group for parents with special needs.

“There is a sense that children with special needs, physically, emotionally, mentally, don’t have a place in the synagogue, in the Jewish community,” Kipnes said.

“That’s just not true, particularly here. We have celebrated b’nai mitzvah with children with autism, emotional developmental problems, intense dyslexia, Tourette’s syndrome – the Torah and Judaism are available for all of them.”

Special Needs Leads to Especially Meaningful Bar/Bat Mitzvah Services

I love officiating at Bar and Bat Mitzvah services. Watching young one grow up – sometimes during the process of studying Torah, sometimes right before our eyes as they chant Torah on the bimah – is a moment of kedusha (holiness). Kal v’chomer (“how much the moreso”) when the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a child with special learning needs. Over the years, we have celebrated Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremonies with children with autism, ADHD, auditory processing problems, OCD, motor and munipulation issues, dyslexia, and a whole alphabet of other challenges. Each service was unique. Most were tear-jerkers. All were REAL and fully within shalshelet hakabalah, the unbroken chain of transmission of Torah from generation to generation.

Though we kvell (praise) especially joyfully at these services – “look at how much this or that child has been able to do” – I often wonder if it is we who miss the point. Of course the child became a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, because Torah beckons him/her, like every other kid, to take his/her place with in the chain of transmission. It is always an honor to help figure out how to make this happen.

I recently read an article about involving children in the religious experience by Rabbi Joanne Yocheved Heiligman, the parent of a child with autism spectrum disorders. Rabbi Heiligman writes:

With all the energy that it takes to help our children succeed in their everyday school settings, sometimes the thought of enduring a similar struggle for their religious lives can seem so daunting that we postpone their religious education and/or participation long past the time we would provide it to a typical child. I have the dual perspective of being the parent of children with autism spectrum disorders as well as being a rabbi. I’d like to share some of what I have learned, from both sides, about integrating our children into faith communities.

Rabbi Heiligman’s article is an important part of this ongoing conversation. I encourage you to read it! Read more.

Speaking Out for Religious Freedom and Marriage Equality


Religious leaders must speak out on the moral issues of our day. The prophets did it. The sages did it. Rabbis throughout their time did it. Earlier this month I did too.

I lent my voice, and my understanding of the evolving Jewish tradition, to two efforts occurring in the State of California regarding Marriage Equality. In addition to supporting an interfaith amicus brief asking the California Supreme Court to decide that it is a violation of the California Constitution to deny same sex couples access to civil marriage, I wrote a letter to The Honorable Mark Leno (13th Assembly District), which said the following:

Along with other religious and spiritual leaders, I join with California Faith for Equality in writing to you in strong support of the “Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act” (AB43). I commend the protection this legislation provides for religious freedom while ensuring equal treatment under the law for same-sex couples.

I affirm the right to freedom of conscience and recognize that the state may not require religious groups to officiate at, nor bless, same-sex marriages. By the same token, I oppose appeals to sacred texts and religious traditions for the purpose of denying legal and social equality to same-sex couples. The state may not use the religious convictions of one faith for civil law that affects people of all faiths and people without religious affiliation. Furthermore, clergy should not be placed in the position of treating some couples they marry differently than others.

I thank you for setting a standard of leadership and integrity by exercising your legal right and your moral responsibility to pass legislation to end marriage discrimination in California. The right to love and to form a family through marriage is a fundamental human right, and was so recognized by the California Supreme Court in 1948. California public opinion has been moving with remarkable speed to support fair and equal treatment for same-sex couples. History is clearly on the side of full civil rights for all.

I commend your demonstrated respect for our constitution, for the separation of church and state, and for loving, law-abiding families. I join with you in standing on the right side of history, and in standing on the side of love.

History, and a compassionate honest interpretation of Jewish tradition, shows that this is the right path, the moral path, for us to support. I was honored to be able to raise my voice in support.

Welcoming Interfaith Families

I am amazed, each time I meet with an interfaith family, that they need to ask (in round about ways) whether the warm welcome and full integration that we offer to all Or Ami congregants is available to interfaith families as well. No one comes out and asks it directly, but I find it to be an undercurrent in the conversation.

Pleased that we offer a truly warm welcome to any individual or family who has chosen to create a Jewish home (and, if there are children, to raise them as Jews), we decided to put this into writing. We hope now that our Or Ami website is clear and true to the warm welcome we offer.

Our welcome begins:

My house shall be a house of prayer for all peoples. (Isaiah 56:7)

No one is more welcomed at Congregation Or Ami than you!

Congregation Or Ami, like all Reform Jewish congregations, holds the mitzvah (religious responsibility) of ahavat ger (welcoming the stranger) among the most important tenets of our faith. We actively welcome interfaith families into our communities and encourage their participation in our synagogues. We work to empower people to make Jewish choices for themselves and their families and strive to provide resources to inform educated decisions. We strive to be welcoming places for people of diverse religious backgrounds, sexual orientations and ethnic backgrounds.

Many couples that begin with two individuals from different backgrounds need to integrate separate lives into one family. And for interfaith couples and their families that integration also includes differing religious traditions and cultures. Remember: you are not alone. Congregation Or Ami, our Rabbi Paul Kipnes and Cantor Doug Cotler and our Reform Jewish movement, welcome you. Congregation Or Ami is already proud to be a home congregation for many interfaith couples and families, and we welcome you to share in the warmth of our community. We invite you to begin a conversation with Rabbi Kipnes to share your hopes or questions about being an interfaith family at Or Ami. Read more.

I am also proud that we added to the home page of our website images that signify our openness to diversity: the blue/white wheelchair (symbolizing our openness to people with disabilities), the rainbow flag (our welcoming of gay and lesbian Jews and Jewish families), and the 12-Step Triangle (our awareness of and acceptance of people recovering from addictions and dependencies).