Category: blog archive

New Visions of Jewish Community

Once again, Congregation Or Ami has been held up as an example of meaningful, visionary Jewish community. We kvell!

What makes a community uniquely compelling, such that people strive to be part of it? This question consumes the attention of so many in the American Jewish world, as our numbers and rates of affiliation declines and as the tightening of our finances and free time forces restructuring everywhere. In an America where Jews have gained unprecedented acceptance and access to the halls of power and wealth, the need and desire for communal connection varies. With our numbers shrinking through assimilation, low Jewish birthrates and intermarriage, we wonder: what will the Jewish community of the future look like?

This month the Central Conference of American Rabbis devoted a special issue of it’s CCAR Journal (of Reform Judaism) to “New Visions of Jewish Community.” I was honored to be asked to co-edit this issue along with the former URJ regional director Rabbi Alan Henkin.

Reading through the demographic studies and analyses of denominations and institutions, a few things become clear:

Successful synagogues will:

  • Need to be warm welcoming meaningful communities;
  • Utilize the latest technology to integrate local and long distance relationships into a coherent whole;
  • Be fully innovative and unafraid to remake themselves time and again;
  • Engage people in innovative Jewish spiritual experiences.

Before accepting the honor of co-editing this Journal issue, I asked the publisher why they chose me. I was told “because Or Ami stands out as a meaningful and significant community.” They pointed to our Vision and Values:

Congregation Or Ami is home to a warm and welcoming, innovative, musical Jewish community. We deepen relationships with each other, while immersing in Torah, Israel and the Source of All Life. We travel together down Jewish paths which inspire our hearts and souls, and transform us to seek justice and nurture compassion in the world.

We will have copies of the Journal available to read in our office. So whether you read just my editor’s article, the whole journal or merely glance at the Table of Contents, kvell a little (okay, a lot) that our little shul has an outsized reputation as place of innovation, excellence, and warm, welcoming community.

My Questions: Why are you affiliated with Or Ami? What do you see in our community’s future?

Rabbi Eric Yoffie: The Impact of Storms at Home and in Israel

Rabbi Eric Yoffie, president of the Union for Reform Judaism, wrote to leaders of all our congregations to share perspectives on The Impact of Storms at Home and in Israel. He addresses the devastating weather, as well as the damaging political fights erupting over President Obama’s speech and Prime Minister Netanyahu’s response. Please take a moment to read and reflect upon this important perspective:

Dear Friend:

These past few weeks have been trying ones, here at home and in Israel.

Many of our North American communities have been battered by devastating weather. Our thoughts are with the victims and we continue to work closely with our congregations in the affected regions. Please check the URJ Disaster Relief page for updates and, if you wish, to make a donation. Together, the entire Reform Movement prays for the welfare of all those impacted by these terrible tragedies. May God grant them comfort and healing in the days, weeks and months to come.

And while some of our communities in North America fight physical storms, our brothers and sisters in Israel fight political ones. Despite its military strength, Israel is a small and vulnerable state, and is now facing especially difficult times. The United Nations will vote in September on whether or not to recognize Palestinian statehood, and if the resolution passes, it will be a distressing sign of Israel’s isolation on the international stage. Uprisings throughout the Arab world create hope for democracy and change, but could also pose serious threats to Israel’s security. And Iran continues its efforts to develop nuclear weapons that will threaten Israel and the world.

Against this backdrop, we have had five tumultuous days of meetings and speeches from President Barack Obama and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on issues related to Israeli-Palestinian peace. President Obama spoke once to the State Department and once to AIPAC, the pro-Israel lobby; Prime Minister Netanyahu spoke to AIPAC and before a joint session of Congress; and the President and Prime Minister met in the White House last Friday.

(Prime Minister Netanyahu also met with a small group of Jewish leaders during the AIPAC Conference, a meeting attended by the Union’s President-designate Rabbi Rick Jacobs.)

There have been no end of commentaries on these developments, but I would like to offer a few reactions of my own.

In his two speeches, the President expressed in the clearest possible terms the unshakable support of the United States government for the State of Israel (and in some cases went well beyond what had previously been said by him or previous administrations). He said for the first time that a Palestinian state must be a demilitarized state. He insisted that Israel be recognized as a Jewish state and the homeland of the Jewish people. He warned the Palestinians against bringing their statehood resolution to the UN. He expressed deep concern about the Hamas-Fatah pact. He affirmed that peace could not be imposed from the outside but must be agreed upon by the parties.

It is difficult to imagine, in fact, a more ringing endorsement by the President of America’s traditional support for Israel. This support was obscured, in some measure, by the bizarre claim that the President had called for a return to 1967 borders; such a step would indeed be impossible and unacceptable, but the President said no such thing, as was clear from his call for secure and recognized borders arrived at through negotiation and mutually agreed exchanges of land. As noted by Ehud Barak, Israel’s Defense Minister, a statement that negotiations start with discussions of the 1967 borders is very different from saying that that is where they end up.

The central premise of the President’s message was that if peace is to come, it will be through the establishment of a Palestinian state living in peace and security alongside a Jewish state. The principle of a two-state solution, of course, has been supported by the last three U.S. administrations and by both major parties; it is also the policy of the State of Israel. The Reform Movement has supported a two-state solution since the early 1990s.

The President also deserves our appreciation for his current efforts to convince our European allies to oppose the UN resolution on Palestinian statehood. Both of his speeches, which affirmed Palestinian rights to a state of their own, have been well received by our allies and should assist in these efforts. As noted, passage of the statehood resolution could seriously undermine Israel’s diplomatic standing.

Prime Minister Netanyahu’s powerful statement to Congress expressed gratitude to the United States government for its support and promised painful compromises for peace. The Prime Minister reviewed the policies of his government and gave special emphasis to security threats that Israel is now confronting. He spoke of Hamas’ commitment to terror and to Israel’s destruction; of the need to confront the dangers posed by Iran to the international community; and of the possibility that democratic stirrings in the Arab world could, if they take a wrong turn, lead to hostile governments rather than democratic ones. These threats are real and deeply troubling. The need for peace between Israel and the Palestinians is not less important on their account but more important; still, they remind us that true security must be an essential component of any peace agreement.

Is there a possibility now of genuine negotiations and progress toward peace? I am far from certain. I believe that the current leadership of the Palestinian Authority is generally moderate in outlook, but is surrounded by mostly unreasonable voices; the presence of Hamas makes progress far more doubtful still. Nonetheless, we know that every effort must be made. Israel has pledged yet again to do its part, and the Administration has pledged to help move the process forward. We are thankful for these efforts because President Obama is surely right that the current situation is unsustainable, and if peace does not come, Israel’s situation will be more grave 5 years from now than it is today. For that reason, my hope is that if the Palestinian Authority is not forthcoming, Israel’s leaders will take what steps they can take to separate themselves from the Palestinians in order to preserve Israel’s Jewish and democratic character.

In the meantime, our task as North American Jews is to offer Israel our love and support; to do everything possible to deepen the friendship between Israel and her most important ally, the United States of America, keeping in mind always that the goal of Israel advocacy is for American – and Canadian – support of Israel to be broad, inclusive, and bi-partisan; and to send the message that Israel’s fate rests not only in the hands of her citizens but in the hands of Jews everywhere.

As I wrote on Yom Ha’atzma’ut, let us pray, today and everyday, that peace and redemption will come to Israel’s borders and that harmony will hallow Jerusalem’s gates, bi’meheira u’viyameinu—speedily, and in our day.

Sincerely,

Eric H. Yoffie
President

Rapture: Some Ridicule and A Jewish Response (Thanks to Ty Templeton)

I was enchanted with the Rapture that didn’t happen on May 21st. My Rapture tweets have made me giggle at myself. While we Jews have had a whole host of off-the-wall messianic pretenders, except for the ridiculous notion that the former Lubavitcher Chabad Rebbe Schneerson is the messiah, it has been a while since we Jews have faced a false messiah.

Thus, I am thrilled that the Rapture dude announced that there is still hope (and opportunity for theological ridicule).  You see, he said that the invisible (or spiritual) Rapture already happened, but we will enjoy physical Rapture or destruction on October 21, 2011.  How do Jews respond?  Check out Ty Templeton’s take…

Finding Balance Again: 7 Balancing Strategies

As I walked into Trader Joe’s for my weekly shopping, a sadness descended. I realized that I would no longer bump into our congregant as I did most weeks. She had died suddenly last week, leaving a husband and two teens. Funny, we didn’t speak much at Trader Joe’s. Just a “hello” and an inquiry about each other’s spouses and kids. A sweet, caring woman. May her memory be for a blessing.

I wrote last week about how the ping-pong effect – bouncing between the sadness of her death and funeral, and many simchas (joyous moments) – began to overwhelm me. Many readers were fascinated and supportive to learn about When the Responsibilities of the Rabbi Begin to Overwhelm. They wondered aloud how rabbis find balance again. Here are my secrets. (Perhaps you will share yours in a comment…)

Finding Balance Again: 7 Balancing Strategies

Here’s what I did and do when it begins to overwhelm me:

  1. Recognize what I am going through. Sometimes I can name the feelings quickly. Sometimes I need someone from outside my head and heart to point them out. My wife Michelle and my friend Rabbi Ron Stern are the best at quickly identifying and name for me such feelings. I always know that when my wife starts texting me multiple times during the day just to check in, that I must be going through something challenging and/or difficult. Once I can grasp the kinds of feelings and the roots of the challenges, I find it becomes easier to deal with them.  
  2. Exercise. Whenever I used to call my mother Linda Kipnes to unload sadness, frustration or overwhelming feelings, she often suggested that I go for a long walk. As a graduate student and as a young husband and father, I used to laugh off this advice. Today I understand the wisdom: exercising gets me out of my head/heart and allows me to work through the excess energy. Walking, practicing yoga, or running on the treadmill are my favorite forms of exercise.
  3. Meditation. At the Institute of Jewish Spirituality, I learned Jewish meditation. To get out of my head, or more specifically, to be so mindfully aware of how my mind is working that I can let it go for a bit. Focusing on the breath – instead of the stories my mind tells me – allows me to just “be.”  Sometimes in the midst of Shabbat services, while the Cantor is leading the prayers, I will close my eyes, focus on the breath, and just meditate.  
  4. Reading. Nothing transports me more quickly from one place to another than reading a good book. With my iPad and my Kindle (the latter was recently kidnapped by my wife), I always have a few good books to take me away.  Just 15 minutes reading a good book provides me with some relief.
  5. Colleagues to talk with. I have a few colleagues – rabbis, Jewish Family Service social workers, my wife, and the therapist to whom I refer many congregants. Each of them provides me with a wonderful sounding board, off which I can talk through the pressures, stresses and sadness.
  6. Count my blessings. I have gotten into the habit each day of trying to count 3 experiences that brought blessing or goodness into my life. When frustration or sadness threaten to overwhelm, I can step back and recount these blessings. (Sometimes I just turn on the news which reminds me that there are so many people who have such tsuris/problems.) It puts it all into perspective.
  7. Take a break, a mini-Shabbat. Sometimes I just have to turn myself off. Sometimes I just need to step away. Sharing the responsibilities with a compassionate cantor and a newly ordained second rabbi, we each now have the opportunity to take a moment to breath. A walk with my wife. A lazy lunch the next day. A good read. 
So this week, I feel good as new. 
What do you do to regain your balance when sadness, frustration or other feelings threaten to overwhelm you?

On Sunday I was Kissed by a Stranger

Torah commands to feed the hungry, the widow, the orphan and the stranger.  Congregation Or Ami partners with other churches and synagogues to provide hot meals and a warm smile for those in need.  Fariba Cooper, chair of this project for the past few years, shares this powerful experience with us:

It has been a while since I started to volunteer with “Feed the Homeless” program; each time I participated was a different experience but always truly rewarding.

Well, this time was surely different. I just got back from Congregation Or Ami’s amazing Seder in the Wilderness with trays of delicious leftovers from our amazing Bahador Catering.

As we were setting up to serve dinner at 6:30 pm, we reminded our Or Ami teens, including Jared and Josh Swedelson and Bar Mitzvah student Zachary Oschin that because this is Easter Sunday, please welcome the guests, wish them Happy Easter and don’t forget to smile. As I was serving the rolls, a middle age gentleman smiled after I said, “Happy Easter Sir.” He asked me if I celebrated Easter. “No,” I replied. “I celebrate Passover.” He shook his head and said, “You people are remarkable!!” I was analyzing the comment when he signaled me to come out from behind the serving table.

When we both got to the end of the table, he held my cheeks in the palm of his hands, pulled me over, and kissed my cheeks. He said, “Even though you don’t celebrate Easter and you are celebrating your own holiday, you are acknowledging my holiday. You Jewish people are very accepting of others and always helping everyone else. You don’t have the attitude of ‘our way is the only way, the best way’.” I was stunned. Then he gave me a hug and left to eat his Persian dinner.

I was truly touched. He was a well-dressed man who spoke eloquently and who was clearly down on his luck, like many other people these days. But he was wrong about one thing. He gave me a much greater gift than I had given them by volunteering for a few hours. For that, I am grateful.
Congratulation to Joshua Swedelson for accepting the responsibility for Or Ami’s “Feeding the Homeless” program. I know you will do amazing.
To all of our Seder in the Wilderness family, thank you for sharing your leftovers. Rest assured they were truly appreciated.

When the Responsibilities of Being a Rabbi Begin to Overwhelm

On Monday, I felt the weight of it all begin to seep under my skin. It happens sometimes when the responsibilities of being a rabbi begin to overwhelm. Perhaps that’s just what happens after exhausting weekends like this. Maybe it was the great number of simchas (joyous occasions) to celebrate… Of course it might just have been the sadness of preparing to bury a loving, compassionate 54-year-old woman who left her husband (of 27 years) and two teenagers.

As the weekend began, it promised to be a joyous opportunity to schepp nachas (share the joy) as Congregation Or Ami enjoyed one simcha (joyous moment) after the other. Friday morning I welcomed our two new interns from HUC-JIR who would lead our award-winning Mishpacha Family Alternative Learning program in the coming year. Vivacious, creative and energetic, these grad students overflowed with ideas of how to make the learning engaging and multigenerational. That night, the congregation welcomed Shabbat as we gathered Or Ami’s new officers and board under the chuppah (marriage canopy), symbolically bonding them through marriage to God and God’s gift of Torah. Dreaming about new initiatives for the coming year and excited about the weekend’s other simchas, I fell into a deep sleep.

When the phone rang at 6:15am, I knew it could not be good news. He said, “Its Barry. Felicia’s gone.” Uncharacteristically, I responded, “You’re kidding me! What? Say it again.” “Yes, she had a massive seizure. She died this morning. Tell me what should I do?”

Thus began forty eight hours of mental ping-pong: bouncing between multiple celebrations and walking our dear congregant, step by step, through the process of preparing for the funeral and shiva (the 7-day mourning period) afterward.

The Bar Mitzvah boy Zachary Oschin was impressive; he delivered his d’var Torah from notecards while walking around the room. At some point I had to bifurcate my attention as I stepped out to confirm funeral arrangements with the mortuary. Barry and I spoke regularly on the phone that afternoon between the Bar Mitzvah service and my parenting responsibilities. Emails back and forth with Paul and Shirley, our Henaynu Caring Community chairpeople, confirmed that the Or Ami community was prepared and volunteers lined up to step in for any eventuality – to order shiva food, to prepare the house for the 100s of guests, or to lay out the food trays. After driving my kids to their temple youth group event, I confirmed the shiva arrangements.

I made one last call that night to Barry between my two evening obligations – a Havdala service and dinner to celebrate the upcoming ordination of our second Rabbi Julia Weisz, and a party at which I offered a blessing for Julia Fingleson who is off to Kenya to volunteer at a school for disabled African kids.

Sunday morning, Barry confirmed that the shiva meals were coming together and that he would have a list of funeral eulogizers later that day. Answering his questions, I headed into Wilshire Blvd. Temple to celebrate as six former Or Ami interns and faculty were ordained rabbi. There was special joy as I presented for ordination Rebekah Stern and as my dear friend presented his congregant Julia Weisz. Then driving to new Community Jewish High School’s gala at the Ford Theater provided the empty space to call back David, who reported his father had died but had questions about how a Jew mourns Jewishly in an interfaith remarriage situation.

One more call to Barry, before entering the pre-graduation dessert reception honoring our soon to graduate education interns, allowed me to confirm the time to meet and discuss the funeral. It felt bittersweet speaking glowingly about Joel Abramovitz and Greg Weisman, who after devoting so much energy to Mishpacha this past year, are graduating and moving onto new endeavors. Particularly enjoyable were the moments I spent with their parents, kvelling (joyously boasting) about how talented their children are.

By 9pm, I was on the road to Barry’s home (first checking in by phone with David) to listen, to plan, and to begin the process of counseling toward the future. I learned so much about Felicia that night, about her warm heart and devotion to her husband, about the arduous process that ended as they adopted their two wonderful children and how she lived to love them. Barry talked; I listened. He questioned; I counseled. I made a mental note to retask our Henaynu Caring Community from Shiva meal set up to the next week’s carpool coverage and meal delivery. Notes taken, plans confirmed, I headed home, collapsing into my bed well after midnight.

Sometimes I am not fully aware of how the rabbinic ping-pong plays with my mind and emotions. Usually I can keep it compartmentalized. But every so often, it just seeps in. I usually know that is happening because I receive a multitude of text messages from my wife checking in on me (somehow she knows I am struggling, even before I do).

So how does a rabbi keep the overwhelming emotions at bay? How did I deal with the reality that this weekend’s ping-pong was too intense and this weekend’s death cut too close to home? Stay tuned for the next post…



From a Tube of Toothpaste, I Fell in Love Again

Late one night, I discovered a new tube of Crest Toothpaste sitting on the counter next to my sink. It was the sweetest gift I ever got. And I fell in love all over again.

You may ask, “What’s the connection between a $5.68 tube of toothpaste and love?”

It’s elementary, my dear Watson.

The tube couldn’t have just appeared there. My wife must have bought it for me. That means that…

  • She heard me mention (in an aside) that I was out of toothpaste. Proof that she listens to me.
  • She remembered that I said it. This busy woman, who works, has 3 teenagers, and juggles the crazy hours of her rabbi husband, focused and remembered. Proof she thinks about my needs.
  • Even though I am more than capable of picking up my own toothpaste (I do the Monday morning shopping most weeks), she picked up the toothpaste for me. Proof she prioritized my needs.
  • She chose the regular flavor, old style Crest toothpaste tube, exactly what I like. Not all places carry my flavor. Proof she is attentive to my needs and she is willing to go out of her way to fulfill them.
  • I’m pretty sure that buying that toothpaste was really not a big deal for her. We regularly share the errands. No big deal for me to pick up a prescription or dinner; no big deal for her to pick up the dry-cleaning or a package at the post office. Proof then that she cares even if it’s no big deal.

This tube of Crest Regular Flavor Toothpaste was a loving gift from my wife who listens to me, focuses on what I say and remembers, prioritized my needs, goes out of her way to meet my needs and doesn’t make a big deal about it at all.

If that’s not love, I’m not sure I know what love is.

Pirkei Avot 5:19 teaches: Any love which is dependent on something, when the ‘something’ ceases, the love ceases. Any love which is not dependent on anything will never cease.

Yes, my wife loves me. And while I know that, one tube of regular flavor crest toothpaste reminded me yet again.

The sweetest gift I’ve ever gotten!

A Rabbi, A Priest and a Minister Walked into a Bar…

My day was the beginning of a great joke: A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walked into a bar and ordered drinks … except it wasn’t a bar, we didn’t order drinks, and instead of just a rabbi, priest and minister, more than a dozen religious leaders gathered together.

I was attending my first-ever interfaith clergy association meeting. Assembling at Unity of the Oaks in Thousand Oaks, we sat together and broke bread (a meal that amazingly addressed the needs of everyone – carnivores, vegetarians, vegans, and gluten-freers…). We updated each other on the happenings in our churches, temples, mosques, and meeting rooms. Theologically diverse, and in some cases holding diametrically opposed values, we rose above differences to embrace that which unified us: a desire to engage the sacred, to create a world filled with compassion and justice.

So many people complain that religion, the opiate of the masses, has been the cause of more warw and violence than anything else. History provides plenty of fodder for those arguments; the past is littered with crucifixions, crusades, inquisitions, and genocides, colonization, missionizing, and more. Most poignantly, this year we commemorate the tenth anniversary of 9/11, which was nothing if not a misappropriation of Islam for vile purposes.

Yet religion – most all of them – at its core pursues peace. So every instance of an individual or group, picking up a knife or gun and claiming that his “god has called him to slay the unbeliever,” should be recognized for what it is: the misuse, misappropriation, and desecration of the words and intent of the Divine.

Religion’s purpose is to uplift and to strengthen, to afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted. That’s why more social justice work is done by religious people than any other. And that’s why more joy and love emanated from that interfaith gathering, as Jew, Christian, Morman, Muslim, Buddhist, Christian Scientist (and others) came together to break bread and break the down barriers that attempt to divide us. It was an energizing experience, one I hope to enjoy again and again.

NOTE:  I have begun writing for another blog in Calabasas Patch. Sometimes I will double post. Sometimes I will write content special to that readership. Either way, may my words bring wisdom and illuminate the intersection of spirituality, religion, and daily life. Check out my other blog on Calabasas Patch.



Omer Day 20: Making it Through Transitions

Today is day 20 of the Omer, that’s 2 weeks and 6 days into the journey from Egypt to Sinai, from the moment we left the dark places to the time we received the instruction (Torah) which gave us direction.

I imagine what it was like to be an Israelite during that journey. Clear that I was leaving an unhealthy place, I lacked a clear picture of where I – where we – needed to go. It would have been a period of intense uncertainty; the anxiety threatened to overwhelm.

I imagine what it is like today to be an Israelite (a Jew, a member of a Jewish family, you), trudging slowly forward on an uncertain journey. Is your wilderness trek taking you:

  • Away from a dead end job?
  • An unexpected layoff?
  • On a search for financial security?
  • Out of a home that hurts you?
  • A relationship that drains you?
  • On a quest to renew love and warmth?
  • Toward recovery from addiction?
  • Release from pain?
  • On a hunt for hope and healing?

In times like these, our prayers are many. One of my favorite modern liturgists, Alden Solovy brings together so many of our jumbled emotions and needs in his prayer Transitions:

G-d of sacred moments,
G-d of endings and beginnings,
Hear this prayer for guidance and deliverance
As my life moves in new directions,
Onto new paths,
Into uncertain water. 

Grant me courage as an answer to fear,
As the winds blow,
Strength as an answer to doubt,
As the storms gather,
And wisdom as an answer to uncertainty. 

Grant me grace in the face of obstacles,
As fires rage,
Patience in the face of detours,
As the earth trembles,
And trust in the face of the unknown. 

Grant me joy in my successes,
As the sun warms the land,
Humor in my defeats,
As the cactus opens a flower,
And acceptance throughout my days. 

Grant me faith in Your guidance,
As songs lift my heart,
Gratitude for Your works,
As love lifts my life,
And joy in Your gifts. 

G-d of Old,
Rock and Shelter,
My time is a blink,
My journey a puff of wind,
My life fragile and fleeting. 

Therefore,
G-d of Secrets,
Grant me delight,
Luminous, majestic delight,
In using these blessings
In service to Your Holy Name.

© 2011 Alden Solovy and www.tobendlight.com. All rights reserved.

Question: Where are you in your transition? What do you need to pass from here to there?





Blasphemers No More: Parashat Emor Commentary

Published in the Jewish Journal of Greater LA.

My sister just touched down in Israel. I can feel her elation way over here in California. Time stood still; there was silence. The land and the woman were one. She had returned home.

My sister made aliyah 22 years ago, with her then-husband and 1-year-old daughter. After building a life and birthing three more kids, they followed his dream and returned to America.

Fast forward 10 years, and after healing from the divorce and the bittersweet return of her two older children to Israel, my sister has returned to the Holy Land, if only for an extended Pesach pilgrimage.

In moments, my sister felt it again. She e-mailed: “… this so feels like home and I haven’t even arrived in my Israeli hometown of Karmiel. The smells of the bakeries, the sea, the air, the oranges. The taste of the food and coffee. Speaking Hebrew — it’s flowing well already. And soon, hugs of my dearest friends. I’ve made a life for myself on America’s East Coast … but it will never feel like home the way that Israel does.”

What is it about Israel that makes us feel so connected? Might it be a special spice or something in the air? Perhaps walking the stone pathways that our biblical ancestors traversed or witnessing the renewal of a once-lost nation? Or sensing the Holy One in the Holy Land. Or the way that kodesh v’chol (holy and regular), historical and contemporary, coexist everywhere.

This week, my sister enjoys Israel yom-yomi (day-to-day). Next week, Pesach. By the time you read this, she will be back in the States, connecting from afar with the land we love so much. Like the rest of us, she will wrestle with simplistic black-and-white portrayals of Israel in the press and in the Jewish world, and grapple with the urge to both kvell (praise) and kvetch (complain) about our beloved homeland.

Conveniently, America hosts a variety of organizations, each speaking about Israel, its status as an American ally and its place within the Jewish heart. Still, any oheiv Yisrael (lover of Israel) must tread carefully, because American Jews are a vociferous bunch, quick to declare this or that opinion to be kosher or, heaven forbid, to be anti-Zionist or worse, chillul HaShem, a blasphemy before God.

Once, arguments about how to relate to the Land were machloket l’shem shamayim, an argument for the sake of heaven. Today, in America, many have forgotten that eilu v’eilu divray Elohim chayim — this and that opinion are both the words of the living God. The self-appointed arbiters of Jewish truth condemn opinions about Israel that diverge from their own. They implicitly reference this week’s parasha, Emor: “Take the blasphemer outside the camp, and all who heard [his blasphemy] shall lean their hands on his head. And the entire community shall stone him” (Leviticus 24:14). Then they act dumbfounded when a Jew picks up a gun to kill the prime minister, or they remain silent when an Arab picks up a gun and kills a Jewish family just over the Green Line.

It is high time we American Jews take a “chill pill” and, while remaining unwaveringly committed to Israel’s security and safety, become very slow to invoke Torah’s condemnation of “blasphemer.” Israeli newspapers host a robust debate about everything imaginable. Israeli journalists and bloggers — not to mention Yosi Yisraeli on the Midrachov, Jerusalem’s outdoor pedestrian mall — argue vociferously, offering opinions that are quickly reviled here.

Our Israel is beautiful, precious and perfectly imperfect. It exists in a dangerous neighborhood. But we need to remember that most American Jews are cross-addicted to Israel. Some are AIPAC supporters out of a desire to ensure Israel’s close relations with our government even as they donate to the New Israel Fund to help Israel remain true to her Jewish and democratic ideals. Others invest heavily in Israeli technology while supporting J Street, one of the few places that openly and honestly talks about the plight of the Palestinians. Some enjoy Shabbat at the Kotel, davening with the various minyanim, while also finding inspiration in Israel’s 85+ Progressive and Masorti communities. Let us become more like most Israelis, accepting that an oheiv Yisrael can disagree profoundly without being among Emor’s blasphemers.

Remember, the love of Israel easily inflames our hearts and souls. My sister wrote: “We ate at a restaurant right on the beach. Mushroom and green olive pizza for my son; grilled cheese on a bagel for the youngest. I enjoyed the most delicious hummus I’ve had in a long time. That stuff from Whole Foods may be healthy, and Sabra hummus is closer, but nothing compares to the smooth, almost white creaminess of Israeli hummus with whole chickpeas, tehina, olive oil, lemon, and parsley on thick warm pita. That and a café hafuch, and I was one happy woman.”

May our love for Israel entice us to put away our sticks and stones, to kvell more, kvetch with compassion, and to treat both the kvellers and kvetchers with kavod (honor).

Beyond Kvetching and Handwringing: Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism

There are those who look out at our country and our world, kvetch and complain, and then turn back inward, content that their kvetching was enough. 

There are those who see injustice, wring their hands and worry in silence about the effects of this action or that, and then compartmentalize the anxiety and go back to a good book. 

And then there is the Religious Action Center for Reform Judaism (RAC), the Washington DC address of our Jewish values, which daily moves beyond the handwringing and kvetching to ensure the world tips in the direction of tzedek (justice), rachamim (compassion) and emet (truth). This small group of people, led by the indefatigable  Rabbi David Saperstein and the tireless Mark Pelavin, take  talmudic Rabbi Tarfon’s dictum (lo alecha – yours is not to complete the task but neither can you desist from it), and run in so many holy directions that it is hard to keep up. 

Directing an army of 20-something year old Legislative Assistants, their bare bones staff take on more issues than any of us can count. They stay up on the current legislation, meet with high-powered congressional aides and communal lobbyists, and move forward an agenda growing out of the values of Torah. Masters of the crucial art of coalition building, they make friends from across the political spectrum to ensure that our Jewish values do make a difference in the world. They move upstream, always searching for causes instead of just responding to effects. Then, with finesse, they turn to rabbis and lay leaders around the country – through their Chai Action networks – to teach and pressure our legislators to vote for moderate Jewish values of decency and justice. 

I experienced all this once when, in 1985-86, I served as an Eisendrath Fellow, metaphorically chained to a desk, seeking every opportunity to effect bracha (blessing) in our world. Superfund Cleanup, Economic Justice, Shabbat HaGadol and The Sanctuary movement for Central American Refugees were in my portfolio. I helped organize the first Tzedek Society fundraising drive. I debated the Sanctuary movement opposite the Deputy Assistant Secretary of State for Central American. Those were heady times for a 22 year old. 

Ani v’atah nishaneh et haolam – you and I will change the world. So we sang in NFTY. The Religious Action Center taught me how. 

So this week, as I rabbi out on the far West Coast, I returned home, to the RAC’s Consultation on Conscience, to learn, and argue and come to understand new perspectives on current challenges. To remember that kol dracheha shalom – that all the ways of Torah should lead to peace. we heard from VP Al Gore, Rep. Howard Berman, John Prendergast of Enough Project, Jacob Lew of the White House OMB, and Cecile Richards of Planned Parenthood. And more and more. 

If my parents Linda and Ken Kipnes nurtured me on social action, and NFTY and Kutz camp strengthened the Jewish underpinnings and contemporary impetus to act, then Rabbi David Saperstein and the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism transformed and transforms me with the perspectives and skills to be a Jewish agent of change in my community, country and world. 

 We came here with 6 Congregation Or Ami members (plus our kid, your press Secretary Eric Harris). We will go home, change the world for the better, and come back at the next Consultation with double the number. Happy 50th anniversary Religious Action Center.

Standing at the White House Following News that Osama bin Laden was Killed

By Rabbi Paul Kipnes and Michelle November

Back at the hotel after a moving video celebrating 50 years of the Religious Action Center and an inspiring speech by Vice President Al Gore, news broke that U.S. Forces had killed Osama bin Laden. We paused briefly to digest the information and to watch CNN. Suddenly our congregants grabbed us to go to the White House, where people were gathering to celebrate.

The mood outside the White House was exuberant. As we watched the crowd swell from a few hundred to thousands, people belted out “God Bless America,” waved American flags from perches up in trees, and chanted “USA, USA” with passion usually reserved for sports games. Some wrapped themselves in red, white, and blue; one character dressed like Spiderman climbed a lamppost. Unlike the organized rallies we have attended on the Mall, this gathering was spontaneous in nature, organic in its explosive expansion, and compelling in the outbursts of youthful patriotism. Cars honked, people cheered loudly, and the streets filled with a sense of unity. Kindness permeated the packed crowds; people said, “Excuse me” and “I’m sorry,” as they squeezed past one another.

In the midst of the celebration, we were struck by many emotions. Grateful to be American. Pride in our Armed Forces. Relief that Osama bin Laden, the purveyor of murder and his cynically murderous twisting of religion, will no longer be able to spread his deadly ideology. But we wondered, should we have been standing in silence, holding candles, reflecting upon the terrible loss of life – at 9/11, in the wars in Afganistan and Iraq, and in other battles to defend American lives?

We wondered how our friends in New York City were reacting. More specifically, our hearts turned to our friend, whose husband died in the Twin Towers, leaving her with young children. Would this give her solace? A sense of justice? Some closure? Or would this renew her emptiness and bitterness?

All told, this was a unique, inspiring outpouring of patriotism and unity. We felt fortunate to be in our nation’s capitol witnessing this historic gathering. As we turned to leave, we noticed a man standing near the White House fence, waving a framed picture and a U.S. flag folded into a triangle. From the distance, the picture appeared to be of his loved one killed on 9/11; the flag, a cherished reminder of his service to our country. And cheers went up everywhere.

Omer Day 11: Stop Doing, and Just Continue “Being”

Today is the 11th day of the Omer, that is 1 week and 4 days.
Today is also the day I write my 613th post on this blog. It feels like a mitzvah! A time to pause and reflect:

Shabbat Shalom.

  • Can you be at one with the universe?
  • Can you stop doing and just continue being?

Shema, a central prayer recited twice daily, concludes Adonai Echad.

Some teach that this means God is one, that God is not two like the ancient Zoroastrians believed. And God is not three, like we Jews understand the Christian Trinity to really express (Father, Son, Holy Ghost equal three for Jews). And God is not many, like the ancient Greeks and the contemporary Wiccans believe.  All this is true for Jews.

I prefer to translate Adonai Echad as God alone, following our Reform Movement siddur (prayer book), Mishkan Tefilah. This teaches multiple significant lessons:

  • There is nothing but God. Ain Sof, as the Kabbalists express, God has no end. Everything is within God. Separation is just a way we comprehend the world. Unreal but effective. So we are part of the Oneness of the Holy One.
  • Everything is connected to everything else. If God alone means everything is God, and I am within God and You are within God, then we are connected within God. It means that I am connected also with those I do not know, those I have never met and those who exist across the world and across our city. Rabbi Lawrence Kushner teaches that the world exists within the invisible lines of connection.
  • If I want to experience holiness, sometimes I should just stop acting on and in the world and just be. When I just focus on being, I might catch a glimpse, a sense, a shadow, of the is-ism of Adonai Echad. I might truly recognize that I am part of that oneness.

It is hard to do when one is running and doing. So try this. It is something I learned at the Institute for Jewish Spirituality.

Sit comfortably, quietly close your eyes, and just breathe. Focus on the breath. When thoughts come into your mind, categorize them as pleasant or unpleasant. If pleasant, push them, in your mind’s eye, to the left. If unpleasant, push them to the right. Then return to focus on the breathing.

You might find, somewhere in there, that you sense the eternality of the breathe, that just in being you exist in a most profound form.

At that moment, you just might have experienced the oneness of holiness, the oneness of the Holy One.

For more mediations on living on the journey, take a look at Seeking Words Where There are None, the Omer blog of Rabbi Ari Margolis, a former Congregation Or Ami summer rabbinic intern. It is well worth the time.



Omer Day #10: Responding to the Anti-Semitic and Racist Graffiti at Calabasas High School

Today is Day 10 of the Omer. I also invite you to read my daily reflections as we count the Omer. 

RABBI’S NOTE: Our community has been following the discovery and investigation of anti-Semitic and racist graffiti with great concern, pain, and anger. Who could believe that here in Calabasas, an enlightened and open community, we would be subjected to the use of such heinous slurs?

I have spoken to the Calabasas High School principal CJ Foss and the Assistant Principal Eric Anhalt. Additionally, I have had multiple conversations with the Anti-Defamation League(ADL). In each discussion, all participants did not mince words: they offered a condemnation of the actions, an intent to take this situation very, very seriously, an openness to suggestions as to how to respond, and a desire to educate and bring healing. I was pleased to hear that Calabasas High School has already been involved, through it’s many clubs, in holding awareness days for a variety of sometimes marginalized groups.

I am exceedingly satisfied that the school district is partnering with the Los Angeles County Sheriffs Department and the ADL to educate toward tolerance and pluralism.     
But let’s be clear, Jews are not endangered in Calabasas. We are present in all levels of civic and communal life. We have multiple synagogues and our own Congregation Or Ami sanctuary off Las Virgenes. We have good relations with other Calabasas groups, institutions, and organizations.
So while we condemn these acts, and want them to be taken seriously and responded to with teaching and justice, we take comfort that law enforcement acted so quickly and has now asked for the most serious of punishments, indictment on felony vandalism charges coupled with the hate crime enhancement.  We feel confident that the school did the same with its confidential recommendations to the superintendent and the school board.
***
And so three 11th graders spewed hate and anger, spray-painting anti-Semitic and racist graffiti all over Calabasas High School. They were non-discriminatory with their discrimination, shooting their poisonous arrows at a wide swath of minorities. They were non-prejudicial with their prejudice, naming individuals – reportedly a mix of Jews, African-Americans, and other people – students, teachers and administrators. Their actions have been roundly condemned.    
Now that the three have been caught, confessed in writing, they are learning quickly that – whatever the motives – their graffiti smut is neither tolerated nor acceptable. Still, we are unable to make sense of it all.How could our innocent, accepting city harbor such hate? Many will look for meaning in this madness, hoping to point our fingers in blame at an absentee parent or worse, an abusive upbringing.  
We should also ask ourselves why these acts are so distressing. Like most vicious attacks, these use symbols, which conjure up a whole history of hatred and violence.
Writing “whites only” on a water fountain recalls America’s shameful, painful past when the color of one’s skin was used to deny the worth of one’s soul. Daily rejections of human equality were enshrined in law; random beatings and lynchings were rampant. To scrawl those words is to paint a target on every person of color. It is particularly offensive to see our children use such language to harm others.   
The use of the swastika and the words “let’s triple 6 million” recall the horrific genocide of 6 million Jews and 5 million others including children, homosexuals, gypsies, and others. The swastika remains one of the most powerful and enduring emblems of religious and ethnic hatred. It recalls the time of nationalist systematic murder, and of widespread international indifference.Few anti-Semitic acts more deeply strike pain into the heart of a Jew. 
Occurring during the holy days of Passover and near the holy week of Easter, and naming at least 6 individuals of diverse backgrounds and religions, this act of graffiti takes a particular type of hatred to pointedly attack others.
   
Why in the world did these three youth feel it was acceptable to use such dehumanizing language? Is this behavior an anomaly or, frightfully, might they be particularly egregious examples of attitudes that pervade a society that finds spewing pointedly painful words tolerable?
It is easy to condemn the graffiti which uses words and symbols that we agree upon to be historically language of hate. But what about words about which society has not yet agreed to roundly condemn? The Baal Shem Tov, the 18th century founder of chasidism, taught that often we rebuke in others what we find and hate in ourselves. Thus he challenges us, when anger fills us up, turn inward and fix our own failures.   
So we ask ourselves:
  • Have we ever tolerated hate against others or dehumanized whole categories of human beings?
  • Have we, for instance, stood idly by while Muslims were stereotyped as a group for the terrible actions of the few, or have we spread or given credence to unfounded fears that all Arabs are terrorists or terrorist sympathizers?  
  • Have we nodded in agreement as the birther movement permeated what amounts to a subtle though most heinous form of racism against African Americans? 
  • Have we allowed laws and attitudes to continue even as they marginalize gay and lesbian, bisexual and transgendered individuals, couples and families? 
  • Have we, children of immigrants, stood aside while people of Hispanic origin – citizens, permanent residents and undocumented workers alike – are forced to face daily the humiliations of prejudice?
It is easy to rise up and condemn others when we have been harmed. It is another thing – greatly more difficult – to move off the couch or look up from our texting to recognize the humanity of the other. Thirty six times in the Bible we are told to treat the stranger as we treat the citizen; 36 times we are reminded how dear to the Holy One are the most vulnerable.    
As a community, Jew are making our way from the exodus from Egypt to the celebration of receiving Torah at Mt. Sinai. From the holy days of Passover to Shavuot.  
Like our Biblical ancestors, we have a choice: Embrace the fear that kept our biblical ancestors cowering as oppressed slaves in Egypt. Or embrace the Torah, a gift of God which delineates a whole system of ethics to guide our steps.  
So we thank our law enforcement and Justice systems, with whom we have very good relations, for vigorously responding to these heinous acts. We thank the school and the district for utilizing this as another opportunity to educate about pluralism and tolerance. 
Simultaneously, let us expect of ourselves, at our deepest levels, that we do curb our collective inactions that do wrong to others, either through our deeds or more likely through the attitudes we harbor.
   
Calabasas, CA is one of the best places to live in America. We as a community need to use this abomination to teach ourselves and our children that we love our neighbors as ourselves, even the ones who look different, pray differently, and those we just don’t know.

Omer Day #9: Talking the Talk and Walking the Walk… of Kadosh-Holiness

Today is the 9th day of the Omer, that is one week and two days.  We are on the journey still, to Mt. Sinai.  When we arrive at the 49th/50th day, we experience Matan Torah, receiving the gift of Torah.

Among the most distinguishing features of Torah are its imperatives to live an ethical life. We are commanded both to talk the talk, and walk the walk. In this week’s parasha, we read Kedoshim Tehiyu – You shall be holy.  
What is holiness?
For Jews, holiness is not spirituality based on sitting on a mountaintop, meditating or doing yoga (although I, and many other Jews, do both). Rather being kadosh – holy in Judaism is to act in ethical ways toward one another. 
Well intentioned, yes, but how do we make this happen?
At Congregation Or Ami, our nascent Center for Tikkun Olam (social action) hosts a Mitzvah Fair for our youngest students.  The brainchild of congregant Debby Pattiz, the Mitzvah Fair gets kindergarten through 6th grade students thinking about how they can act ethically and live kadosh.  
As we read in the Acorn, Calabasas’ local newspaper: 

A big question on the mind of every 12-year-old at Congregation Or Ami is “What will I do for my mitzvah project?” 

In Judaism, the completion of a mitzvah project as part of the process of becoming a bar or bat mitzvah symbolizes acceptance of the “mitzvah” or “duty” to actively work to engage in “tikkun olam” or “healing the world.” 

Mitzvah projects can benefit children, the elderly, animals, the hungry, the environment, refugees, the poor, or any other group or cause that needs help. 

Despite so many people and places needing healing in our world, finding a mitzvah project that fits the individual interests and abilities of each pre-teen can prove challenging. That’s why Congregation Or Ami hosted its inaugural Mitzvah Project Fair on April 4 and 6 during its Kesher learning program. 

Or Ami teens who completed their mitzvah projects in the past year presented their volunteer projects to the younger children in the temple’s Religious School program. The presenters used posters and handouts and talked with curious first- through fifth-graders about their experiences. The younger children were amazed by the wide variety of projects.
Some of the projects were training a seeing eye dog, teaching inner city children about managing money, sending handmade notes to military personnel posted overseas, playing with disabled children, caring for orphaned animals, and collecting food for the hungry and basic supplies for the homeless. 

Calabasas resident Rachel, a fourth-grader, said, “My mitzvah project can be helping animals, not only people.” 

Agoura Hills resident Ryan, a first-grader, said, “I can do my mitzvah project in the park.”
“By doing a mitzvah project, you are being a super mensch,” (Yiddish for “a really good person”) said Oak Park resident Jonathan, a third-grader. 

In addition to showing the younger children the many handson projects they can accomplish, the Mitzvah Project Fair showcased the accomplishments of the temple’s teen members. 

“The Mitzvah Project Fair also provided an opportunity for our congregation to acknowledge the great pride we feel at the important work our teens are undertaking to ‘heal the world’ and to celebrate their acceptance of tikkun olam as a lifelong pursuit,” said Debby Pattiz, mitzvah project coordinator. 

Organizations that are interested in helping children “heal the world” by providing pre-teens with bar/bat mitzvah volunteer projects should leave a message for Pattiz through the Temple.  (This Mitzvah Project Fair article was written by Helayne Sharon, who resides in Agoura Hills.)



May these days trekking through the wilderness provide you with plenty of time to think about how you can both talk the talk and walk the walk … of kadosh – holiness.